“I Pay My Oncologist Big Bucks For This Hairstyle!”

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Q:What did the bald guy say when he was given a comb? A:  “Thanks, I’ll never part with it” 

Here’s a funny song this lady made up:



When I was on chemo in 2011 and my hair was falling out in copious amounts after the first infusion, I asked one of my daughters to buzz cut it for me which was empowering. We did it together on vacation with my husband and kids supporting me through the tears and laughter. I lost nearly all my hair every where on my body that time (except I still had to shave my legs which was a kicker!)




 My oncologist told me that on the chemo regimen that I was on this time that I might not lose all my hair, it might just thin out.  I got it cut very short when a lot of it started dropping out and it did thin considerably. I am grateful though to have been able to keep about 1/8 – 1/4th of what I used to have and I’m glad I didn’t buzz cut it this time.  I consider what I have left, my head start on a new head of hair.   There are areas that you can see through to the scalp but it is starting to grow back now which is a blessing.  I’ve been trying to have a little fun with this baldness thing by sporting a variety of looks with a couple wigs in different colors and styles and using pretty scarves and hats when I’m out.  At home, I’m usually “as is”.



🙂  You might enjoy this commercial  that my friend Jacque shared with me (I did,thanks Jacque!):





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Even the very hairs of your head are all numbered! (Matthew 10:30)


Thanking God from Whom all blessings flow, including the gift of hair,



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No Mo Chemo!!!!!

What do you call an agnostic who is both dyslexic and an insomniac?

Someone who lays awake at night wondering if there is a doG. 😉


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I was scheduled to have my final chemotherapy infusion tomorrow, but due to worsening neuropathy symptoms, my oncologist and I both felt it best to skip it.  I am happy to be done with chemo, hopefully forever!  What remains in my treatment now is nine months of IV Herceptin every three weeks to complete one year of that medicine and an oral hormone blocker to reduce my risk of cancer recurrence.  I am grateful not to need radiation as well.


Thanks for praying!





“I tread no path in life to Him unknown,

I lift no burden, bear no pain, alone;



My soul a calm, sure hiding place has found:

The everlasting arms my life surround.”


Robert Browning from “God, Thou Art Love


My Father in Law’s Passing

Psalm 116:15

15 Precious in the sight of the Lord
    is the death of his faithful servants.

Yesterday, January 16, 2017 my dear father-in-law met his Savior face to face. No more suffering, no more heartache, no more worn out body, no more anything that is not good…instead, he is forever in the presence of the One Who loves him and each of us the very most.




A lot of people have no idea of where they are going after they die. Even if a person lives to be a 100, time on this earth is a blink of the eye compared to eternity.  My FIL knew for sure where he was going.   I like the way that this link explains the way a person can get to Heaven and know for sure they are going there after they die.    http://www.evantell.org/the-gospel   It does not have to do with being a “good enough” person.  If it did, none of us would make it.  I have copied and pasted the message below.  John 3:16 is Good News for all of us!




“The gospel in its simplest form is ten words: “Christ died for our sins and rose from the dead.”




The centrality of the gospel is not based on what we do for Christ, but what He did for us. He has provided a way for sinners to be pardoned instead of punished. Through Christ’s death and resurrection, we can have a relationship with God that transforms our lives forever when we place our trust in Jesus alone.




John 3:16 offers a simple outline of the three things God wants us to know: His love, His gift, and His offer of salvation.





God’s Love – “For God so loved the world”


God’s love is so remarkable because He loves us not for who we are, but in spite of who we are. Harsh words, lies, selfishness—we are guilty of all of these and more. No matter what we’ve done, God still loves us. As sinners who have broken God’s commandments, we deserve His anger rather than his love. But God loves us so much that instead of turning His back on us, He turns His face toward us. Two thousand years ago, His love provided a gift only He could give.





God’s Gift – “that He gave His only begotten Son”


The gift is God’s Son—Jesus Christ. Because we have sinned, we deserve to die and be separated from God forever. The Bible identifies that place of separation as hell. But God gave His Son to take our punishment. Begotten means “one of a kind.” Jesus Christ is God’s unique son. He is perfect. Christ is our substitute. On a cross two thousand years ago, He died for our sins. As God, He came back to life, proving He had conquered sin and death once and for all.



Because the price for our sin has been paid, the way to God is clear and simple.




God’s Offer – “that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.”



Jesus did not mean “whoever goes to church, is baptized, helps the poor, or tries to live a good life.” Whoever is not just the wealthy business person, the pastor at church, the volunteer at school, the alcoholic, or the struggling single parent—it’s every single one of us.




The word believe means to “trust,” “depend,” or “rely on.” Knowing about Jesus is not enough. We have to place our trust in Jesus Christ alone to save us. That means we must trust Christ as our only way to heaven, the only way we can have a relationship with God.




There is nothing more important than your need to trust Christ. You can tell God you are trusting Jesus Christ as your Savior through a simple prayer. It is not a prayer that saves you; it is trusting Christ that saves. Prayer is simply how you tell God what you are doing.




Dear God, I know I’m a sinner. I know my sin deserves to be punished. I believe Christ died for me and rose from the grave. I trust Jesus Christ alone as my Savior. Thank you for the forgiveness and everlasting life I now have. In Jesus’ name, amen.


Me and Alexander on our Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Days

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I crashed last night about  9:30 PM after a throwing up after chemo kind of evening  and am now wide awake in the wee hours. Yesterday was a really tough day on multiple fronts. It was one of those all-day-long stressful, rough days with one thing after another after another that I would have preferred to have gone differently. Remember “Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day” story from when you were a little kid? My husband and I  had one of those in an adult version.  I guess we should move to Australia like Alexander wanted to, huh?   Ha, ha 😉




Here’s the book read aloud if you want a refresher from your youth:





 I’ve been thinking about that “Please God, make this count” prayer that I read about and shared here a couple days ago.   I am  seeing more clearly in the nitty gritties of life that God does not want to waste anything, including the stuff I don’t like: big stuff, little stuff, and all the in-between stuff. In all the “stuff” we can hang our hats on the truth of Romans 8:28:

28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.




On a happier note, I will count a few of my many blessings of yesterday as well (I guess it wasn’t a completely terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day after all!):



My family are some of my “Chemo Angels” and during this journey with cancer they have looked for ways to be a special encouragement to me , especially on treatment days.  I am indeed blessed.





John surprised me with a second “Squirrel Buster” bird feeder that I’ve been hoping for. I am also grateful that my husband and I could be there for each other through the stresses of yesterday and the challenges ahead.      Hannah drew me a lovely picture and wrote a precious note and we had a great talk. I got to chat with Nicholas on line which is a treat.



Joy shared these quotes with me yesterday morning:

“On particularly rough days when I am sure I can’t possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is a 100% and that’s pretty good.”

“Hey, Beautiful One, You knew today would be a little tricky.  Hang tight, Love.  You are walking in the right direction. Just keep walking.” And her reminder,  “The Lord will never leave or forsake you, Sweet Sweets”.



How very thankful I am for family and friends!



I also had a wonderful visit with a nice woman next to me getting an iron infusion.  It was a “Divine Appointment” I’m glad I could be part of.  Neato!




Even though we crawled along I-4 for miles and got off early to detour the bumper to bumper traffic which resulted in being an hour late for my doctor’s appointment before chemo and Herceptin, we got there safely.




I would appreciate specific prayer for chemo related neuropathy and the latest: burning and tingling on my lips, around my mouth, and tongue during and after chemo.  Even the tip of my nose felt weird yesterday. The numbness in my feet and toes continues to be constant. Because of the neuropathy, there is a chance that yesterday was my last chemo treatment rather than what is scheduled in two weeks. It is not yet decided. We will see how the next two weeks goes with the neuropathy. We need God’s wisdom and guidance and help.




Also please pray for the many details and bumps along the way revolving around my elderly father in law who is progressively going down hill health-wise and is moving down from South Carolina to an Assisted Living Facility near us this weekend.  Thanks for praying!



I’m learning to lean harder on the Everlasting Arms which are wrapped around me, holding me tight.




“God, Make it Count”


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Thanks for the laugh, Alan!  🙂




This quote  is my take-away gem today from the link to the article above (Thanks E.M.!) :



“Instead of praying “God, make it better”, I need to pray “God, make it count.”



Good stuff!




This Wednesday is my second to the last chemotherapy infusion then I’ll be continuing my year of IV Herceptin every three weeks.  God, please make it count!



“I Will Trust in You”


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I love this song:




So we’re not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace. These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us. There’s far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can’t see now will last forever.  2 Cor 4:16-18 (MSG)


16 Therefore we do not become discouraged [spiritless, disappointed, or afraid]. Though our outer self is [progressively] wasting away, yet our inner self is being [progressively] renewed day by day. 17 For our momentary, light distress [this passing trouble] is producing for us an eternal weight of glory [a fullness] beyond all measure [surpassing all comparisons, a transcendent splendor and an endless blessedness]!18 So we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are unseen; for the things which are visible are temporal [just brief and fleeting], but the things which are invisible are everlasting and imperishable. 2 Cor 4:16-18 (AMP)



“Today, will I surrender my fears, my future, my what ifs, my life to the God of the heavens? The sovereign one with whom there are no accidents. With whom truth gives way, shining its light on the very core of my fears. With whom His very Word, that which we can hold in our fingertips, and take into the inner places of our beings…..brings hope, love, truth, comfort, encouragement, courage, forgiveness, healing, strength and endurance…and the ability to surrender to Him.”
Although I am very tired these days and I’m dealing with some side effects from the chemo, I’m so thankful to be doing  really well overall.  Thank you for praying for me and my precious family.  As I think about those verses in 2 Cor  above, it’s neat to know  that any and every hard thing we’ll ever go through is “small potatoes” to the Lord and the best is yet to be!  🙂



“Run Towards The Roar”

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I came across the words to a beautiful song that Pam and Terry sent me years ago..  It was written by Janice Rogers Edmiston, to be sung to the music of “A Few of My Favorite Things” from the Sound of Music:
Joy thru my teardrops, and gains thru my losses
Beauty for ashes, and crowns for my crosses;
He binds my wounds, and He dries all my tears
Calms every storm and He conquers my fears.
He gives me hinds’ feet to walk on high places,
He floods my soul with His heavenly graces;
When I am weak then His strength makes me strong
I know I can trust Him, He’s never been wrong.

Trials may come and temptations assail me
Though I may falter, He never will fail me;
So Satan I bind you in His holy name
For at the cross Jesus’ blood overcame!


When the doubt comes, when I’m lonely
When my heart is sad;
I’ll lift up mine eyes to my Savior above
And Jesus will make me glad.


When in my heart there is sadness and sorrow
Jesus has promised a brighter tomorrow;
Victory is mine, yes, it’s already won
I’ve only to claim it by faith in God’s Son.


All of my cares I will cast down before Him
Even in trials my heart will adore Him;
He bears my burdens, He comforts my soul
Oh why should I worry when He’s in control?


Lord in the time of deep grief and emotion
I will yet serve You with constant devotion;
You have not failed me one step of the way
That is the reason I’ll trust You and say:


I will praise You! I will praise You!
Jesus Christ my King;
For You fill my heart with a song in the night
Yes, You make my heart to sing!



The below was copied and pasted from http://daveyblackburn.com/posts/run-toward-the-roar  by Davey Blackburn:


“Perhaps one of the most impactful books I’ve read in this season is Levi Lusko’s Through the Eyes of a Lion. I talk more about this book in this post. I’m excited to have the opportunity to spend a couple days with Levi in May and visit his church. Levi lost his 5-year-old daughter 2 years ago to a freak asthma attack. She died in his arms as he was trying to revive her. Amanda and I heard his story 2 weeks before Amanda was killed. We were in tears on a train to a romantic getaway in Chicago as we listened to him preach a message at Elevation Church. The message was about how he and his family had learned to overcome the greatest trial in their life through the resurrection power of Jesus. I look back on that moment and know that God was preparing us to walk through the greatest trial of both of our lives…one that would take Amanda’s life, and one that would knock the breath out of mine.


One the most profound concepts he wrote about is this concept of “Running Toward the Roar.” Let me un-pack it:


Most of us have seen a National Geographic or Discovery Channel special of lions hunting in the plains of Africa. What you may not know is that it’s not the males but the females, the lionesses, that are actually the hunters. The males are inherently too slow and lazy. Sounds not unlike the human species!


The male does play a specific role, however. He will get on one side of a watering hole where gazelles or wildebeests have chosen to bath. He will flare his mane, get as tall as he possibly can and let out a ferocious roar that would shake the nerves of any living creature within a 50 mile radius! The roar is supposed to scare the prey into running away. What the prey doesn’t know is that the lionesses have strategically placed themselves on the opposite side of the watering hole. So when the wildebeest is running AWAY from the roar into what they think is safety, they are actually running straight into an ambush. If they would have run TOWARD the roar, as counterintuitive and frightening as it may seem, they would actually be able to scamper away into safety. The male lion’s “bark” is much more dangerous than his bite.


Scripture says that our enemy, Satan, prowls around like a ROARING lion, seeking whom he could devour. The reality is if you are a Christian, you are not in danger of being devoured by the enemy. He has no claim over your life. You are a new creation, and no longer a slave to the curse of sin and death. But the enemy can scare you into being devoured by pain and fear. In fact, his intention is to steal, kill and destroy. He wants to steal your joy, kill your hope, and destroy the purposes God has for your life.


What people will often do when they encounter a trial, a tragedy, or a painful experience is they will try to run away from the pain. Pain is terrifying. It’s messy. It sneaks up on you and can cripple you in an instant. It knocks the breath out of you. But it can’t kill you. Most people are fearful of stepping into the pain, letting their heart feel the full weight of it, working through it, and giving it over to the Lord. It’s makes you feel too exposed and vulnerable. And so they never actually come to a place of healing. So what people try to do is box up the pain. They run away from it. The only problem is that by doing so they are running straight into an ambush. Months, years, even decades down the road it will ambush them and take them out. When you try to box it up, it booby traps you later – this time with even more ferocity.


My family and I have decided to adopt Levi Lusko’s approach. Instead of running away from the pain we’ve decided to run toward it. We’ve decided to embrace it. We’ve decided to deal with it head-on.


So when I’m driving down the road and a song comes on that reminds me of Amanda, instead of turning it as fast as I can, I’ll listen to the whole thing. I may weep uncontrollably the whole time. On one occasion I had to pull the car over to the shoulder because I was crying so hard I couldn’t see the road in front of me. But that’s ok!


When people want to talk about Amanda, I gladly talk about her. I don’t shy away from conversations. It doesn’t matter how awkward or painful that conversation may be.


When I get caught up daydreaming of a memory of Amanda, I let myself feel the full weight of the void. I don’t want to bottle it up and push it away. I don’t want it to booby trap me later!


Perhaps the greatest example of running toward the roar we were faced with recently was going back into my house where Amanda was killed. As much as I didn’t want to step back into that living room where I found her, I knew I couldn’t keep that boxed up. The morning I returned, I put worship music in my earbuds, laid down in the spot I found her, wept, prayed and worshipped. And I’ll tell you, something miraculous happened. About 45 minutes of running toward the roar and I was better. I had released it all. The darkness that, in my mind, had hovered over that location was now taken captive by a risen savior and I wasn’t afraid of it anymore.


Initially when you run toward the roar it’s excruciating; but eventually it’s healing.


You can’t selectively numb your heart. You can’t numb the parts of your heart that feel pain and still be attuned to the parts that feel pleasure. You either numb it all, or you feel it all. There is no alternative. Maybe that’s why Psalm 30 talks about God turning our mourning into dancing. In order to feel the joy of dancing on the other side you must be willing to step into the sting of mourning.


So what roar do you need to run toward today?”

I had another chemo infusion yesterday that went a-OK , just two to go in the next three weeks: hip-hip-hooray!  I am so grateful for the Lord’s grace and help through all of this.


Joy shared this Ann Voscamp quote with me before my infusion and it was an encouragement to me:
“Be brave.
And do not pray for the hard thing to go away.
But pray for a bravery bigger than the hard thing.”

Running towards the “roar” of cancer, hand in hand with my Savior,