Deut 33:12

LOL!  😉

Today and tomorrow we have appointments to see my breast surgeon and oncologist to discuss the biopsy results and talk about the best course of treatment.

 

“God gave you a gift of 86, 400 seconds today.  Have you used one to say ‘Thank you’”? (William Ward ) Lord, every single gift comes from You…“Lift my gaze to see life from Your perspective. Help me to understand-and treasure-every good thing You send…”(From James 1:7) 

Today I start a fresh written gratefulness list of some of my next One Thousand Gifts from God ( http://www.aholyexperience.com/   to me in Round Two in the Ring fighting breast cancer:

 

1.  The first on my list is time this morning meditating on Deuteronomy 33:12 

 “Let the beloved of the LORD rest secure in Him, for He shields him all day long, and the one the LORD loves rests between His shoulders”  (Amplified)

The beloved of the Lord shall dwell in safety by him; and the Lord shall cover him all the day long, and he shall dwell between his shoulders. (KJV)

“The Lord’s dearest one
rests safely on him.
The Lord always shields him;
he rests on God’s chest.” (Common English)

“May the one the Lord loves live by Him and be safe. The Lord covers him all the day long. And he lives between His shoulders.” (NLV)

“God’s beloved;
God’s permanent residence.
Encircled by God all day long,
within whom God is at home.”  (The Message)

 

My take-away, persoanlized a la Paula:

Like Benjamin,  I am treasured, cherished, and loved deeply by the Lord.
I am resting close to him in safety.  He is encircling me with His loving care continually and sheltering me.
The Lord protects and shields me all the time, I am secure  like a child at rest on its mother’s back or being held close in her arms, pressed to her chest.

 I saw a video of a baby otter sprawled out, resting on his mama’s tummy who was floating on her back taking great care of her pup.  That’s kind of like a snapshot of me and God right now.  I am asking God to help me snuggle up in His love and really, truly rest in Him, way down deep.

2. “Just be Held” by Casting Crowns

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KxLoRuQiy1g

Hold it all together

Everybody needs you strong

But life hits you out of nowhere

And barely leaves you holding on

And when you’re tired of fighting

Chained by your control

There’s freedom in surrender

Lay it down and let it go

So when you’re on your knees and answers seem so far away

You’re not alone, stop holding on and just be held

Your world’s not falling apart, it’s falling into place

I’m on the throne, stop holding on and just be held

Just be held, just be held

If your eyes are on the storm

You’ll wonder if I love you still

But if your eyes are on the cross

You’ll know I always have and I always will

And not a tear is wasted

In time, you’ll understand

I’m painting beauty with the ashes

Your life is in My hands

Lift your hands, lift your eyes

In the storm is where you’ll find Me

And where you are, I’ll hold your heart

I’ll hold your heart

Come to Me, find your rest

In the arms of the God who won’t let go.

3. Yesterday “Bones” (http://campkesem.org/ nurse and friend)  generously shared some of her Fl Thornless Blackberry Bushes with us.  She started with two canes years ago and now has a huge, sprawling, wonderful blackberry patch.  I love berries but don’t want them to take over the yard so I planted them  in large, semi- buried pots along the trellis on the fence where I will train the vines.  It’s going to be such a blessing for the birds, squirrels, and us  to pick our own berries in the Spring! I hope they leave some for us too!

Prayer Requests:
– Complete healing of my knee (I had surgery on 8/5)  I am diligently doing PT at home and at a Therapist’s.  I am making good progress but still have a ways to go in being able to straighten the knee all the way, build up my quads, etc

– I would appreciate prayer for the Lord’s wisdom and guidance in totally eradicating cancer from my body.  I’d sure like to evict it completely FOR GOOD this time!

-Please pray that God will give me courage  for each day and all that is ahead and fill me with overflowing faith, joy that has nothing to do with circumstances or emotions, and a peace that passes understanding.

Learning to lean harder on the Everlasting Arms,

Paula

 

How to Help a Breaking Heart

Here are some excerpts that were a blessing to me this morning from:

http://www.aholyexperience.com/…/how-to-help-a-breaking-he…/

Someday, they say this is true like coming taxes and the grave —

Your heart will break.

You may not feel the the crack of it, but you may feel the bleed…You must surrender to a breaking that must happen if you want any of your brokenness to heal… But if you let His Word wash your wounds, let His grace caress your pain, let His Truth touch your bruises, let His hope heal your ache, you can feel a kind of resurrection on earth. His promises are more than true —they are your resuscitation. ..And this is a harder thing — You have to trust that the breaking of your heart will heal you into a kind of stronger.

The greatest strength can grow straight out of the greatest weakness. The universe is a beautiful place, made in the strangest ways. I AM knows who we are and what we need.

And the people who love you, right in the midst of the aching? They will need to be brave. (Sometimes the greatest courage is to trust enough to let go.)…Please be gentle with yourself; grant yourself grace and time. Any kind of heart break will land you in a kind of ICU. It’s true: A heart has to be monitored if you’re ever going to survive. This too will take patient time, a quiet suffering of its own.

Listen to the beat of your own heart. Listen to what it’s telling you, to the rhythm it wants you to keep. Listen to the bravery of your beats — believe that your heart is pounding together something new. This is how He made a heart to work. Listen to this and rest.The way to recover is to cover everything with grace.

Take all the time you need to find out for yourself how this is the most proven kind of true: The best kind of intensive care for a broken heart is to let the words of Christ intensively care for you. ..Turn to the window and wait for the sun to rise, to keep always rising. Never stop being surprised that it does, never get over the miracle that you get to see it.

It’s okay to let the tears come, to weep over all this pain, all this love, all this beauty, all this brokenness and the hard roads that we somehow find ourselves walking, forcing one step in front of the other.

It’s okay to let someone trace the scar down the middle of you and to touch your holy brave and bear witness that your fight is hard and sacred.

It’s okay for you to feel along your wounds wired closed and wonder why you have had to warrior through all of this…Even though you’re in recovery, you’re still in pain.This can happen. And somehow you still have to keep breathing through the ache.

Sometimes you can’t experience full recovery until you let your pain be fully uncovered.
You have to be a willing brave, if you want more.

And when you don’t know how?

When you don’t feel brave?

When it all feels too hard?

Turn and look up into someone eye’s and let yourself be seen and touched and known.

Let yourself hear it, and let it reverberate through the hurting chambers of you and let yourself never forget:

Pieces of your broken heart mend when you make peace with what He gives.

The healing has begun.

Round Two in the Fighting Ring With Cancer

My breast surgeon called Thursday evening and the biopsy was positive for invasive cancer. I will know more details about the cancer next week after more testing on the tissue samples. It may or may not necessarily be the same aggressive type as I was diagnosed with in 2010. I had an MRI of my breast Friday and have appointments with the surgeon and oncologist next week to discuss the best way to proceed with this recurrence of cancer.

Honestly this is rough stuff but I’m going to continue to cast all my cares on Him and choose to snuggle up in His love and rest and trust Him. My cup overflows with so many blessings. Please pray for our whole family. Thank you.

Much love,

Paula

Look what Joy put up on the fridge when I was gone for my three medical appointments on Friday! I am filled with gratitude for everyone’s love, encouragement, and support.

In His Will

“First, He brought me here; it is by His will I am in this strait place; in that fact I will rest.

I am here—BY GOD’S APPOINTMENT

Next, He will keep me here in His love, and give me grace to behave as His child.

I am here—IN HIS KEEPING

Then, He will make the trial a blessing, teaching me the lessons He intends me to learn, and working in me the grace He means to bestow.

I am here—UNDER HIS TRAINING

Last, in His good time, He can bring me out again—how and when He knows.

I am here—FOR HIS TIME”

-Andrew Murray

Breast Biopsy Scheduled for This Afternoon

Hello friends!  🙂

I haven’t blogged here in a long, long time and have been enjoying overall wonderful health up til recently.  It feels a bit like my body is falling apart lately.  I thought I’d touch base here and ask for prayer.

Today is breast biopsy day for me now my surgeon is back from her trip.  It’ll be good to know if this nodule that has shown up on in the mammogram of my remaining breast  is no big deal or not. Then I can either put this behind me or, if it’s a new malignancy, then face it and get back into fighting- cancer- warrior- woman- with God’s-help-and- strength -mode. It remains to be seen if the cancer is back or not. I’ll know results next week.

It looks like a total hysterectomy, ovaries along with the uterus  is  in my near future. Honestly I don’t like letting go of these pieces and parts and chunks of my body but I know I  am still every bit still a woman without these diseased “feminine” tissues in me  and I will do what I need to do to promote health and embrace the life God has for me and live it for Him.  I am grateful that the Lord allowed me the immense blessing of nurturing and delivering babies from my womb and the joy of nursing them as well as adding to our family through the blessing of adoption.  I well remember the heartache of four miscarriages and so appreciate the gift of my three children.   I’m so very grateful to be a wife and mother and know my future is bright no matter what!

I sure appreciate prayer for our whole family.

Thanks,

—Paula

Psalm 27:14New King James Version (NKJV)

14 Wait on the Lord;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the Lord!

Psalm 27:14Amplified Bible (AMP)

14
Wait for and confidently expect the Lord;
Be strong and let your heart take courage;
Yes, wait for and confidently expect the Lord.

Psalm 27:14New International Version (NIV)

14 Wait for the Lord;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the Lord.