Power Outage During A Mammogram ;)

 (edit: cartoons not showing up well so removed.  Sorry about the gap I can’t seem to remove.  Content is below)

I am getting a stereotactic breast biopsy today. Last time I had an ultrasound guided one by my surgeon in her office which wasn’t too bad–rather like a locally pre-medicated wasp sting in a delicate area expertly done by a  proficient health care professional ,explaining as she did it .  I remember being in a state of utter shock early last January for that appointment after that jaw dropping 12/30/10 mammogram with “ominous multifocal findings” duly noted in that written report. 
 My dear, unfortunately also experienced sister-in-law gave me a heads up on this brand of biopsy (Thx Kelley!). I checked out the procedure  on line–here it is in a non-graphic form if anybody is interested in such things: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qPMvUWwxkw0  Basically I’ll be laying face down with my breast protruding from an opening,  squeezed in having a mammogram while they do a biopsy.  Although I’m the kind of woman who happily had my babies using the non-medicated, natural Bradley method child birth, I say a big “Hip-hip-hooray” to whoever invented local anesthetic so women can handle such a thing as breast biopsies while awake!   The fun stuff planned for a cancer patient just never ends, ha, ha. 😉   I’m a crispy critter who’ll be laying on my red like a lobster-in-the-pot burns that have lost some skin on my left breastless chest from the radiation nearing the end.  I’m hoping  for an exceptionally quick stereotactic biopsy which reminds me of the following account that I had tucked away:
 POWER OUTAGE DURING A MAMMOGRAMI actually kept my mammogram appointment. I was met with, ‘Hi! I’m Belinda!’ This perky clipboard carrier smiled from ear to ear, tilted her head to one side and crooned, ‘All I need you to do is step into this room right here, strip to the waist, then slip on this gown. Everything clear?’I’m thinking, ‘Belinda, try decaf. This ain’t rocket science.’

Belinda skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors.

With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) to the left and said, ‘Hmmmm. Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean in a tad so we can get everything?’

‘Fine’, I answered. I was freezing, bruised, and out of air, so why not use the remaining circulation in my legs and neck and finish me off?

My body was in a holding pattern that defied gravity (with my breast wedged between those two 4 inch pieces of square glass) when we heard, then felt a zap! Complete darkness and the power went off!

‘Oh, maintenance is working. Bet they hit a snag.’ Belinda headed for the door.

‘Excuse me! You’re not leaving me in this vise alone are you?’ I shouted.

Belinda kept going and said, ‘Oh, you fussy puppy…the door’s wide open so you’ll have the emergency hall lights. I’ll be right back.’

Before I could shout ‘NOOOO!’ she disappeared.

And that’s exactly how Bubba and Earl, maintenance men extraordinaire, found me, half-naked and part of me dangling from the Jaws of Life, and the other part smashed between glass!

After exchanging polite ‘Hi, how’s it going’ type greetings, Bubba (or possibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew the power was off.

Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much calmness as possible ‘Uh, yes, yes I did– thanks.’

‘You bet, take care’ Bubba replied and waved good-bye as though I’d been standing in the line at the grocery store.

Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin. Making no attempt to suppress her amusement, she said, ‘Oh I am sooo sorry!’ The power came back on and I totally forgot about you! And silly me, I went to lunch. Are we upset?’

And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up between the clamps….


Adding to my list of “Cancer Fightin’ Words”:

–I love being a Mom to three precious kids now and I’m going to love being a grandma in years to come and watch them grow up too. Maybe I’ll even get to play with my great grand babies some day!

— The mastectomy, chemo, and radiation wiped out the majority of unwanted, unhealthy cells–evicting them from my body forever.  If there are any left, Herceptin is putting Her2 cells to sleep for good and hormone blockers will put them in absolute starvation mode, wasting away to nothingness. 

–My body is loaded with thriving, bursting-with-vitality cells that energize me.  I am able to recover beautifully from the pro-active measures I needed to take to be strong and healthy again.

–What a blessing my God-given, robust immune system is; fighting for me every single moment.

–I’ve got great Polish longevity genes in my favor

–I am fighting to win

–My future is bright because God is in control


Lord, every single gift comes from You…“Lift my gaze to see life from Your perspective. Help me to understand-and treasure-every good thing You send…”(From James 1:7)   One Thousand Gifts   http://www.aholyexperience.com/686. There are  many wonderful people in our lives coming alongside us.  Thanks Lord for friends and family who have prayed, done our laundry and cleaned when we needed help, made things fun for the kids, brought food and prayers and laughter.

687. My dear sisters Kathy, Betsy, and Heidi being there for Mom in so many ways and now while she is having more health problems. 

688. “I will give thanks to the Lord with all my heart; I will tell of all Thy wonders. I will be glad and exult in Thee; I will sing praise to Thy name, O Most High.”

  ~~~ Psalm 9:1-2



Remembering Ellie

A plane is on its way to Toronto , when a blonde in
economy class gets up, and moves to the first class
section and sits down.

The flight attendant watches her do this, and asks
to see her ticket. She then tells the blonde that
she paid for economy class, and that she will have
 to sit in the back. The blonde replies, “I’m blonde,
 I’m beautiful, I’m going to Toronto and I’m staying
right here.”
The flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells
the pilot and the co-pilot that there is a blonde
lady sitting in first class, that belongs in
economy, and won’t move back to her seat.

The co-pilot goes back to the blonde and tries to
explain that because she only paid for economy
she will have to leave and return to her seat.

The blonde replies, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m
going to Toronto and I’m staying right here.”

The co-pilot tells the pilot that he probably should
have the police waiting when they land to arrest
this blonde woman who won’t listen to reason.

The pilot says, “You say she is a blonde? I’ll
handle this, I’m married to a blonde. I speak blonde.”

He goes back to the blonde and whispers in her ear,
and she says, “Oh, I’m sorry.” and gets up and goes
back to her seat in economy..

The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and
asked him what he said to make her move without
any fuss.

“I told her, “First class isn’t going to Toronto “.
Adding to my list of “Cancer Fightin’ Words”:
–“Every day I beat my previous record for number of consecutive days I’ve stayed alive.” (Andi)
–“NED” (NO EVIDENCE OF DISEASE) is my 2nd middle name: Paula Victoria NED Oliver, that’s me. 🙂
Lord, every single gift comes from You…“Lift my gaze to see life from Your perspective. Help me to understand-and treasure-every good thing You send…” From James 1:7   One Thousand Gifts   http://www.aholyexperience.com/

681. Memories of sweet little Ellie Skees  http://ellieskees.blogspot.com/2007/12/angels-are-singing-tonight.html  who ran to Jesus whom she loved  4 years ago today on 12/19/07.  She enjoyed this rendition of “Over the Rainbow” by Iz  (me too) which was played at her memorial service: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_DKWlrA24k&ob=av2n
682. Thinking about Heaven as I looked through some old posts in Ellie’s blog today:
“No one’s in a hurry. There’s no schedule to keep.
We’re all enjoying Jesus, just sitting at His feet.

If you could see me now, I’m walking streets of gold.
If you could see me now, I’m standing strong and whole.
If you could see me now, you’d know I’ve seen His face.
If you could see me now, you’d know the pain is erased.

You wouldn’t want me to ever leave this place, If you could only see me now.

My light and temporary trials have worked out for my good,
To know it brought Him glory when I misunderstood.
Though we’ve had our sorrows, they can never compare.
What Jesus has in store for us, no language can share.

You wouldn’t want me to ever leave this perfect place

If you could only see me now
If you could see me now
If you could only see me now”
“Look for Me At Jesus Feet”

Don’t wait near the gates of pearl,
Don’t wait on the streets of gold,
Don’t wait by the walls of jasper,
Nor among the many sites untold,
For the precious Holy One to see,
And there I’ll be through the countless ages,
Wait for me at Jesus feet.
Haste thee on from grace to glory,
Armed by faith and winged by prayer,
Heaven’s eternal day’s before thee,
God’s own hand shall guide thee there.
Soon shall close thy earthly mission,
Swift shall pass thy pilgrim days,
Hope shall change to glad fruition,
Faith to sight, and prayer to praise.
683. My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me:
And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.
My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father’s hand.
I and my Father are one.
John 10: 27-30
684. Just three more radiation treatments to go.  Hooray that I’ll be finished on 12/22!

685. Someone is secretly leaving “On the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, etc days of Christmas” surprises for the girls by our door each morning.  It warms my Mama heart to watch their delight.  Thank You Lord, for this dear gesture of love and care by somebody very special–we have no idea who is doing such a kind thing. 🙂
Specific prayer requests:

-Joy, Hannah, and I have been fighting a respiratory bug a couple weeks.  The girls are almost over it.  I no longer have a fever but am coughing a lot and still have lung congestion after antibiotics.  It’s probably a virus. 

-Joy is also sick with vomiting and diarrhea–for speedy healing and that the rest of us won’t catch it
-Increasing  burns and swelling in my chest from the radiation: (I’ve been  using liberal amounts of perscription burn cream for weeks)
-That the biopsy of my right breast tomorrow afternoon will go smoothly.  There is a very real possibility that it will be A-OK which is what I am rooting for.  If it is not, that I will be brave and strong and resting in God’s suficient grace..

–For God’s complete healing of cancer according to His will and time table.

–God’s comfort for Ellie’s parents and brother on this 4th anniversary of her death

–For healing of my left arm.  It continues to be a problem but I am very thankful for the help that I am getting from an occupational therapist and a TENS unit

His Purpose

Humor: Nursing Home Talent Show Clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jksJceAJdM8 🙂
His Purpose
by Charles R. Swindoll

Read Job 23:1–17


“Job struggles, finally admitting his frustration: he cannot find God.
Ever been there? Of course. All of us have! There are days we search in
vain for some visible evidence of the living God. I’m thinking,
Wouldn’t it be great to wake up in the middle of a full-moon sky
tonight, peek out my bedroom window, and see some skywriting, “Dear
Chuck, I hear you. I’m right here. I’m in charge. Love, God.” I would
love for that to happen! I’d love to get into my pickup after a tough
day at the church, turn the radio on, and have God interrupt, saying,
“Before you listen to this station, Chuck, I want to talk to you for a
few minutes.” Let face it, all of us would love to hear an audible
voice or read a visible message from God. But that’s not the way it
works. Our walk with Him is a walk of faith, not sight.

Job is a great and godly man. He is a mature saint, no doubt about it.
Nevertheless, he longs to witness God’s presence. “Oh, that I could
know where He is. But I cannot see Him, behold Him, or perceive Him.”

Though unable to locate the presence of God, Job states his trust in
Him: “Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar, you can say whatever you wish
against me. God knows which way I go. He knows the truth. He is my
Justifier. He and I are on speaking terms. I trust Him. I believe in
Him. Furthermore, after the trial is over, and He has accomplished His
purpose within me, ‘I shall come forth as gold.’ ”

You can count on that, my friend. When the trial has passed, you will
be deeper and richer for it. Gold will replace alloy. I want you to
allow those words to burn their way into your brain so deeply that they
become like a divine filter for everything that happens in your life
from this day forward. God knows which way you’re going. And His Word
will be a lamp for your path (Psalm 119:105)”.

Excerpted from Charles R. Swindoll, Great Days with the Great

Adding to my list of “Cancer Fightin’ Words”:
Personalizing Zig Ziglar quotes by putting them in the “First Person” for myself:

“I cannot tailor-make the situations in my life but I can tailor-make my attitudes to fit those situations.”
–My take-away: I choose to have a great attitude and grow and learn and change for the good through challenges.  God will give me all the grace and help I need to respond positively to these opportunities for growth.
“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.”
–My take-away: I will motivate myself daily to promote vibrant health by living a healthy lifestyle.  It does make a difference and it does matter.  It feels really good to take excellent care of myself.  I can take better care of my family and have a greater ability to reach out and be a blessing to other people when I am taking good care of myself.

“Positive thinking will let me do everything better than negative thinking will.”
–My take-away: I am a happy, joyful, creative,  positive thinker and doer.  God has blessed me in countless ways and He is a wonderful, personal, forgiving, loving, life-changing Savior who wants His very best for me.  No wonder I have so much to be praising and thanking the Lord about!
“A goal properly set is halfway reached.”
–I will set do-able short term and long term goals within my control that will positively influence my health: like what I choose to eat, what exercise I do each day, getting daily fresh air and sunshine, plenty of water, doing my best to promote adequate rest/sleep.  I will carry through healthy outlets for stress like praying, reading the Bible and growing closer to the Lord, fast walking, rebounding, writing, doing things I find enjoyable like gardening, listening to music, reaching out to others, spending fun time with family and friends.
“If you want to reach a goal, you must “see the reaching” in your own mind before you actually arrive at your goal.”
I can picture myself strong, fit, energetic, athletic,  healthy, back at my slim and trim goal weight, looking younger than my years with a great big genuine smile on my face and feeling my best.  There are many, many things in my control.  I have everything I need and I can make the most of what I’ve got.
Lord, every single gift comes from You…“Lift my gaze to see life from Your perspective. Help me to understand-and treasure-every good thing You send…”(From James 1:7)   One Thousand Gifts   http://www.aholyexperience.com/

Kathy H’s reminder of a message in “Hungry Heart”:  “Let the realization of the soul be compared to the condition of men groping about in the dense fog; still we know that it is clear daylight above the fog, and all we want it to get high enough.  Now the fact is, we are risen with Him.  Then may we set our affection on things above where the Lord Jesus sits at the right hand of the Father; and though the secret power is unseen, faith in Him will lift our spirit into the clear light where He is.”  “The verses included are Eph 5:8 “Ye were once darkness, but now are ye light in the Lord” and Col 1;12 “Giving thanks unto the Father, who hath made us fit to be partakers of the inheritance of the saints in light.” 
680. Time at a Christmas party yesterday with people I haven’t seen in a long time.  So fun having Bonnie at our table. 🙂

“The Hairbrush”

Lord, every single gift comes from You…“Lift my gaze to see life from Your perspective. Help me to understand-and treasure-every good thing You send…”(From James 1:7)   One Thousand Gifts   http://www.aholyexperience.com/
669. Pam sending me the Beth Moore clip “The Hairbrush” 🙂
Going back through gifts from journalling this year:

Yes, Father–be to me what You are
My Abba-Father–my Daddy who couldn’t love me more than You already do.  I love, love, LOVE being Your daughter!
My refuge, my fortress, my deliverer, my strength, my all in all
My Great Physician, my healer, my protector, the lover of my soul
My Living water, my bread of Life
My salvation, my forgiver, my intercessor, my cleanser of all unrighteousness
My life
My fount of every blessing, bind my wandering heart to Thee…
My source, my hope, my peace, my joy, my Savior
My inheritance, my provider
My giver of every good thing
My strong tower of safety
My contentment and satisfaction
My giver of all wisdom
My quencher of every thirst I’ll ever have
My counselor and friend
My sun and shield
My redeemer
My king
My creator
My good shepherd
My Bridegroom
My ever-present help in time of trouble
My beloved
My everything!

Personalizing Phil 3:8 for me:

There are many things I have held as precious and dear, such as being in excellent health;  free of cancer, disease, and pain, and my personal belief system of the best way to achieve that through prevention using natural resources.  I assumed I would happily and healthfully live to a ripe old age and forgot to count many, many blessings and took them for granted until they were taken away from me.  I am learning day by day, that compared to knowing Jesus Christ my Savior, all these are totally insignificant.  The very most important thing in all of life is to Know and love Him more and more as He really is.



 Personalizing Deut 31:6 for me on chemo day #4  from a whole bunch of various Scripture translations quoted: “ Be strong and courageous, Paula!   Do not be afraid or terrified because of ANYTHING going on right now–NOT ONE SINGLE THING happening in your life , for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you or your dear family.  Be fearless! Don’t be scared or worry or fret about cancer or the treatment of cancer because the LORD your God is the one who marches with you. He won’t let you or your family down, and he won’t abandon you guys.  Be brave and strong! Don’t be afraid of the known and unknown side effects of the chemo (not the ones you are having, the ones you might have, or the ones you will never have), or be anxious about any of those many other drugs the doctors have prescribed in the past, those you are taking now or those you will take in the future. Worry is a big waste of time, God has MUCH better for you as His beloved daughter.  You can rest easy about the upcoming year of IV Herceptin every 21 days , the radiation, and every other challenge ahead of you. The LORD your God will always be at your side, and he will never abandon you. Don’t tremble! Don’t be overwhelmed or disheartened because of the constant invisible inflated BP cuff/tourniquet sensation on your arm that’s been with you 24/7 since your mastectomy in May that no measures have relieved thusfar.   The Lord your God is the one who is going with you. He won’t abandon you or leave you.  Remember every minute of every day that God gives you to be strong in the strength of the LORD. Take courage, Paula! Don’t be intimidated by any of this medical stuff or the doctors. Don’t give any one of Satan’s fiery darts of fear, or discouragement, or doubt, or despair a second thought because God, your God, is striding ahead of you. He’s right there with you. He won’t let you down; he won’t leave you: no Sir-ee!  REMEMBER!   Be strong, courageous, and firm; fear NOTHING for it is the Lord your God Who goes with you; He will not fail you or forsake you. Do ye as a  daughter of God who is snuggling up in His love and resting in Him , and be ye comforted (Be ye strong, and be ye encouraged); do not ye dread in heart, neither dread ye at the sight of the nurse who cometh with the chemo, for thy Lord God himself is thy leader, and he shall not leave thee, neither forsake thee.  Take courage, be brave.  Take heart, Paula Girl—God is ALWAYS with You and has EVERYTHING under control. ”




“The same everlasting Father
Who cares for you today will take care of you
tomorrow and every day.
Either He will shield you from suffering,
or He will give you unfailing strength to bear it.
Be at peace then and put aside
all anxious thoughts and imaginings.”


–Francis de Sales


674. http://www.fathersloveletter.com/video.html



I Can Only Imagine





Open the Eyes of my Heart





I’m Trading my Sorrows





676. “Don’t be consumed by what you don’t have, just bring what you do have to Jesus, and watch Him do what only He can do.  And my God will meet all your needs.  No matter what you are facing right now, Jesus says to you, I am enough.  I am enough.  I am more than enough.”
–From “God’s Shelter for Your Storm” By Sheila Walsh

Romans 15:13

May the God of your hope so fill you with all joy and peace in believing [through the experience of your faith] that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound and be overflowing (bubbling over) with hope.




“Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword…..yet in all these things we are MORE THAN CONQUERORS through Him who loved us.”  Romans 8:35,37

Personalizing Romans 8:35, 37:

  Can anything EVER separate me from Christ’s love?  Anything at all?   Does it mean God no longer loves me or has deserted me in any way if I have trouble or distress or if calamity strikes and bad things seem to keep happening?  What about all the prayers that He seems to be answering opposite of what I am praying for?  How does aggressive cancer fit in this equation?  Shall a diagnosis or prognosis or  overwhelmingly hard circumstances, suffering, or pain become a wedge between me and my Lord, or shall these trials serve to press me in nearer and nearer to His loving heart toward me?  How about side effects from chemo or surgery with complications or radiation looming ahead, or medical statistics or bad news or the threat of death, shall these things in any way separate God and me? No way Jose! Despite and in the midst of all these things and more, I will trust Him for He is completely worthy of my trust.  In Him I am more than a conqueror.   More?  YES MORE than a conqueror!   Overwhelming victory: sweet, sweet victory is mine through Christ, who could not love me more than He already does.


My Running List of “Cancer Fightin’ Words”

 I read somewhere long ago that every cell in my body is listening to my thoughts.  I sure don’t know how the mind/body connection works in the healing process but I am beginning a running list of “Cancer Fightin’ Words” , that I will be adding to sometimes.  If anyone reading this has more postive affirmations  to add, feel free. Feelings and circumstances are not in charge of my life.  God is. Out with all defeated, negative thinking in with positive “self talk”.  I do not have room in my mind and life for negativity.

– Cancer does not stand a chance with My Daddy, who is my personal Great Physician in charge.  If God wants to heal me, I will be healed in His perfect timing.  It’s an effortless snap for Him.   If that is not His very best for me, than He has something even better.
– My body is strong and resilient and to the best of my knowledge I am beating cancer and getting healthier every day. I have every reason to be full of hope.
– In Christ I am an over comer.  I am a victorious child of God.  Nothing is too hard for God and I am His.
-. I nourish myself with wholesome foods that build my body  up and make it stronger.
– Paula Oliver is not a giver-upper.  She is a warrior.  She is a fighter. She is a soldier for the Lord, on His mission in life. 
-. Paula Is a breast cancer survivor, that’s what she is.
– Paula is busy living an abundant life in Christ.
– You, Paula Girl are FULL of courage.  You are brave because the same God who was in the lion’s den with Daniel is with you every moment.  The same God who walked through the flames with Shadrack, Meshack, and Abendigo is holding YOUR hand in your fire , Paula.  Take heart. Take courage. God is with you all the way.  He will never, ever leave or forsake you.  Hebrews 13:5 is a promise.

Making Lemonade Out of Lemons

I got the bill for my surgery.  Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for.  ~James H. Boren


Lord, every single gift comes from You…“Lift my gaze to see life from Your perspective. Help me to understand-and treasure-every good thing You send…”(From James 1:7)   One Thousand Gifts   http://www.aholyexperience.com/
667.Isaiah 61:3
To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified.
668. “If life gives you lemons, then learn how to make lemonade!”
This morning I am picturing any remaining cancer cells in my body as little bitty lemons for the Lord and I together to squeeze and make into lemonade.  That would be just like my Lord who brings “beauty from ashes” and “joy from mourning” to teach me to make lemonade out of the lemons in my life.  May He bring His refreshing sweetness out of this lip- puckering sour stuff.  May He conform me to the image of His Son.  May He do a truly lovely work in my heart, making it soft and pliable in His Hand.  I have cancer but my position is not a “cancer victim”.  My position is  His beloved daughter.  I am praying that He would take the stark ugliness of cancer and transform it, make it into a tool/ a means of working out something beautiful for Him.

Another Mammogram to Entrust in His Hands

DESCRIPTION: A small group, including Jesus, watch as a man opens a present CAPTION: ETERNAL LIFE, MY FAVORITE ... THANKS JESUS!

Hello friends, 🙂
Last Thursday I had a mammogram on my remaining right breast.  I asked to speak with the radiologist right afterwards because I wanted her impression right away and avoid the extra suspense of waiting.  She said it “looked good”.  Yesterday afternoon I got a call from my GYN doc’s nurse letting me know that on further inspection  a suspicious area was seen and that I will need a biopsy.   Several doctors have conferred together on my behalf re: those films and I am now scheduled for a biopsy next Tuesday.
Of course, after trying the tools of a rigorous alternative medicine cancer treatment, then a mastectomy, then chemotherapy, IV Herceptin every 21 days, and now being scheduled to finish up 30 rounds of radiation next week,  this news is a sad disappointment, certainly not what we want to hear.  Apparently, IF it is cancer, it is likely to be a DIFFERENT kind of breast cancer.  Wow, one kind seems more than enough for this gal but we don’t get to pick and choose on these kinds of things, do we?  Whether or not there is cancer in the right breast still remains to be seen and it might possibly not even be an issue.  We will know much more when we have a path report.  God is the Blessed Controller of all things. 
Lord, every single gift comes from You…“Lift my gaze to see life from Your perspective. Help me to understand-and treasure-every good thing You send…”(From James 1:7)   One Thousand Gifts   http://www.aholyexperience.com/

665. God knows all about yesterday’s mammogram report of the suspicious area in my remaining right breast requiring biopsy. By God’s grace, this is the response to this news that I choose: 

Psalm 91:2

 2I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust.

Psalm 62:7

 7In God is my salvation and my glory: the rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God.

Psalm 62:8

 8Trust in him at all times; ye people, pour out your heart before him: God is a refuge for us. Selah.

Psalm 94:22

 22But the LORD is my defence; and my God is the rock of my refuge.



Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart;
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art.
Thou my best Thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.

Be Thou my Wisdom, and Thou my true Word;
I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord;
Thou my great Father, I Thy true son;
Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.

Be Thou my battle Shield, Sword for the fight;
Be Thou my Dignity, Thou my Delight;
Thou my soul’s Shelter, Thou my high Tower:
Raise Thou me heavenward, O Power of my power.

Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise,
Thou mine Inheritance, now and always:
Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,
High King of Heaven, my Treasure Thou art.

High King of Heaven, my victory won,
May I reach Heaven’s joys, O bright Heaven’s Sun!
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,
Still be my Vision, O Ruler of all.

Praying that He will help me to be brave and strong and that His peace that truely passes all understnading will FLOOD my soul,

God’s beloved Paula

“Enjoy Life Now. It Has an Expiration Date.”

This is a wonderful piece by Michael Gartner, editor of newspapers large and small and former president of NBC News. In 1997, he won the Pulitzer Prize for editorial writing. It is well worth reading, and a few good chuckles are guaranteed. Here goes…************************************

My father never drove a car. Well, that’s not quite right. I should say I never saw him drive a car.

He quit driving in 1927, when he was 25 years old, and the last car he drove was a 1926 Whippet.

“In those days,” he told me when he was in his 90s, “to drive a car you had to do things with your hands, and do things with your feet, and look every which way, and I decided you could walk through life and enjoy it or drive through life and miss it.”

At which point my mother, a sometimes salty Irishwoman, chimed in:

“…He hit a horse.”

“Well,” my father said, “there was that, too.”

So my brother and I grew up in a household without a car. The neighbors all had cars — the Kollingses next door had a green 1941Dodge, the VanLaninghams across the street a gray 1936 Plymouth, the Hopsons two doors down a black 1941 Ford — but we had none.

My father, a newspaperman in Des Moines , would take the streetcar to work and, often as not, walk the 3 miles home. If he took the streetcar home, my mother and brother and I would walk the three blocks to the streetcar stop, meet him and walk home together.

My brother, David, was born in 1935, and I was born in 1938, and sometimes, at dinner, we’d ask how come all the neighbors had cars but we had none. “No one in the family drives,” my mother would explain, and that was that.

But, sometimes, my father would say, “But as soon as one of you boys turns 16, we’ll get one.” It was as if he wasn’t sure which one of us would turn 16 first.

But, sure enough , my brother turned 16 before I did, so in 1951 my parents bought a used 1950 Chevrolet from a friend who ran the parts department at a Chevy dealership downtown.

It was a four-door, white model, stick shift, fender skirts, loaded with everything, and, since my parents didn’t drive, it more or less became my brother’s car.

Having a car but not being able to drive didn’t bother my father, but it didn’t make sense to my mother.

So in 1952, when she was 43 years old, she asked a friend to teach her to drive. She learned in a nearby cemetery, the place where I learned to drive the following year and where, a generation later, I took my two sons to practice driving. The cemetery probably was my father’s idea. “Who can your mother hurt in the cemetery?” I remember him saying more than once.

For the next 45 years or so, until she was 90, my mother was the driver in the family. Neither she nor my father had any sense of direction, but he loaded up on maps — though they seldom left the city limits — and appointed himself navigator. It seemed to work.

Still, they both continued to walk a lot. My mother was a devout Catholic, and my father an equally devout agnostic, an arrangement that didn’t seem to bother either of them through their 75 years of marriage.

(Yes, 75 years, and they were deeply in love the entire time.)

He retired when he was 70, and nearly every morning for the next 20 years or so, he would walk with her the mile to St. Augustin’s Church. She would walk down and sit in the front pew, and he would wait in the back until he saw which of the parish’s two priests was on duty that morning. If it was the pastor, my father then would go out and take a 2-mile walk, meeting my mother at the end of the service and walking her home.

If it was the assistant pastor, he’d take just a 1-mile walk and then head back to the church. He called the priests “Father Fast” and “Father Slow.”

After he retired, my father almost always accompanied my mother whenever she drove anywhere, even if he had no reason to go along. If she were going to the beauty parlor, he’d sit in the car and read, or go take a stroll or, if it was summer, have her keep the engine running so he could listen to the Cubs game on the radio. In the evening, then, when I’d stop by, he’d explain: “The Cubs lost again. The millionaire on second base made a bad throw to the millionaire on first base, so the multimillionaire on third base scored.”

If she were going to the grocery store, he would go along to carry the bags out — and to make sure she loaded up on ice cream. As I said, he was always the navigator, and once, when he was 95 and she was 88 and still driving, he said to me, “Do you want to know the secret of a long life?”

“I guess so,” I said, knowing it probably would be something bizarre.

“No left turns,” he said.

“What?” I asked.

“No left turns,” he repeated. “Several years ago, your mother and I read an article that said most accidents that old people are in happen when they turn left in front of oncoming traffic.

As you get older, your eyesight worsens, and you can lose your depth perception, it said. So your mother and I decided never again to make a left turn.”

“What?” I said again.

“No left turns,” he said. “Think about it. Three rights are the same as a left, and that’s a lot safer. So we always make three rights.”

“You’re kidding!” I said, and I turned to my mother for support.

“No,” she said, “your father is right. We make three rights. It works.”

But then she added: “Except when your father loses count.”

I was driving at the time, and I almost drove off the road as I started laughing.

“Loses count?” I asked.

“Yes,” my father admitted, “that sometimes happens. But it’s not a problem. You just make seven rights, and you’re okay again.”

I couldn’t resist. “Do you ever go for 11?” I asked.

“No,” he said ” If we miss it at seven, we just come home and call it a bad day. Besides, nothing in life is so important it can’t be put off another day or another week.”

My mother was never in an accident, but one evening she handed me her car keys and said she had decided to quit driving. That was in 1999, when she was 90.

She lived four more years, until 2003. My father died the next year, at 102.

They both died in the bungalow they had moved into in 1937 and bought a few years later for $3,000. (Sixty years later, my brother and I paid $8,000 to have a shower put in the tiny bathroom — the house had never had one. My father would have died then and there if he knew the shower cost nearly three times what he paid for the house.)

He continued to walk daily — he had me get him a treadmill when he was 101 because he was afraid he’d fall on the icy sidewalks but wanted to keep exercising — and he was of sound mind and sound body until the moment he died.

One September afternoon in 2004, he and my son went with me when I had to give a talk in a neighboring town, and it was clear to all three of us that he was wearing out, though we had the usual wide-ranging conversation about politics and newspapers and things in the news.

A few weeks earlier, he had told my son, “You know, Mike, the first hundred years are a lot easier than the second hundred.” At one point in our drive that Saturday, he said, “You know, I’m probably not going to live much longer.”

“You’re probably right,” I said.

“Why would you say that?” He countered, somewhat irritated.

“Because you’re 102 years old,” I said..

“Yes,” he said, “you’re right.” He stayed in bed all the next day.

That night, I suggested to my son and daughter that we sit up with him through the night.

He appreciated it, he said, though at one point, apparently seeing us look gloomy, he said:
“I would like to make an announcement. No one in this room is dead yet”

An hour or so later, he spoke his last words:

“I want you to know,” he said, clearly and lucidly, “that I am in no pain. I am very comfortable. And I have had as happy a life as anyone on this earth could ever have.”

A short time later, he died.

I miss him a lot, and I think about him a lot. I’ve wondered now and then how it was that my family and I were so lucky that he lived so long.

I can’t figure out if it was because he walked through life,

Or because he quit taking left turns.

Life is too short to wake up with regrets.

Believe everything happens for a reason.

If you get a chance, take it and if it changes your life, let it.

Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would most likely be worth it.”


Lord, every single gift comes from You…“Lift my gaze to see life from Your perspective. Help me to understand-and treasure-every good thing You send…”(From James 1:7)   One Thousand Gifts   http://www.aholyexperience.com/

618. Counting more of the endless, One Thousand Gifts… (quoting the below summary by Ann Voskamp)

“Thankful that God is…

  • A Father of Mercies & God of All Comfort 2Co 1:3
  • A God Who Raises the Dead 2Co 1:9
  • Never Leaving Us or Forsaking Us Hbr 13:5
  • Always Leading Us in Triumph in Christ 2Co 2:14
  • Saying to Everyone, “Surely I Am am Coming Again.” Amen Rev 22:20

Thankful that our Beloved can be believed in and makes us…

  • Delivered from the Powers of Darkness Col 1:13
  • Redeemed from the Hands of the Enemy Psa 107:2
  • Called with a Holy Calling 2Ti 1:9
  • Blessed with All Spiritual Blessings Eph 1:3
  • Filled with All Joy & Peace in Believing Rom 15:13
  • Exercise Our Faith & Patience Hbr 6:12
  • Bless the Lord at All Times. Psa 34:1
(Reviewing more gifts God gave me this past year as I look over my blog before I started my daily gratefulness list:) 



Philippians 4:11-12

New Living Translation (NLT)

11 Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. 12 I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little.

Philippians 4:11-12

The Message (MSG)


  Actually, I don’t have a sense of needing anything personally. I’ve learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I’m just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I’ve found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am.

Philippians 4:11-12

Amplified Bible (AMP)

11Not that I am implying that I was in any personal want, for I have learned how to be [a] content (satisfied to the point where I am not disturbed or disquieted) in whatever state I am.

    12I know how to be abased and live humbly in straitened circumstances, and I know also how to enjoy plenty and live in abundance. I have learned in any and all circumstances the secret of facing every situation, whether well-fed or going hungry, having a sufficiency and enough to spare or going without and being in want.

Philippians 4:11-12

King James Version (KJV)


 11Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.

 12I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.

Philippians 4:11-12

New International Version (NIV)

11 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.



Day by Day 


  1. Day by day, and with each passing moment,
    Strength I find to meet my trials here;
    Trusting in my Father’s wise bestowment,
    I’ve no cause for worry or for fear.
    He, whose heart is kind beyond all measure,
    Gives unto each day what He deems best,
    Lovingly its part of pain and pleasure,
    Mingling toil with peace and rest.
  2. Every day the Lord Himself is near me,
    With a special mercy for each hour;
    All my cares He fain would bear and cheer me,
    He whose name is Counselor and Pow’r.
    The protection of His child and treasure
    Is a charge that on Himself He laid;
    “As thy days, thy strength shall be in measure,”
    This the pledge to me He made.
  3. Help me then, in every tribulation,
    So to trust Thy promises, O Lord,
    That I lose not faith’s sweet consolation,
    Offered me within Thy holy Word.
    Help me, Lord, when toil and trouble meeting,
    E’er to take, as from a father’s hand,
    One by one, the days, the moments fleeting,
    Till with Christ the Lord I stand.



2 Corinthians 12:8-10

 8 Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. 9 Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. 10 That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

My take away:

WAY more than three times–over and over and over–I begged and pleaded with the Lord to take away the cancer and the pain in my arm. Each time He said. “Paula, My grace is sufficient for you.  It is all you need and it is more than enough.  My power shows up extra-good in your weakness.  So, now I can openly share that in myself, I am utterly weak that the power of God be magnified in me.  I can rejoice in the Lord in the midst of my weaknesses and thank God for and praise Him through this journey of walking with Him through the storm of cancer and pain.  He is with me through all the trials and troubles.  When I am weak in myself, then I am strong in the Lord.

I thank You and praise You and worship You with my whole heart, Lord.


These are a few of the quotes from the book “A Bend in the Road” by David Jeremiah that were meaningful to me:
  • “You can choose to lift up your eyes to the heavens, pour out your tears, grief and anger and say “God, I have no clue what this is all about or where it is leading, but I resolve to trust You and praise You with all of my heart, unconditionally.
  • He will not abandon His work on you – of which your trial is a part (read Isaiah 49:15-16)
  • There’s no need for me and God to stay up all night. God will be awake anyway so I need to go to bed and get a good sleep. (Psalm 121:3-4)
  • You will be faced with a trial and God will give you 2 gifts: A scripture for your mind and a song for your heart
  • There is nothing, no circumstance, no trouble, no testing that can ever touch me until, first of all, it has come past God, and past Christ, right through to me. If it has come that far, it has come with a great purpose.
  • “God, You have allowed this in my life.  I don’t understand it, but I know that it couldn’t have happened to me unless it was filtered through Your loving Hands.  So, this thing is from You.”
  • We become preoccupied with our circumstances but God is preoccupied with our character.”

    -“No matter how sharp the bend in the road, no matter how disruptive the moment (those unanticipated events, most of which one would usually have chosen to avoid had it been possible), everything that happens to us is for the eternal purposes of God.  He is training us through the process.  Like any worthy parent, He wants to teach us what we cannot learn any other way.”
  • “The Father is never closer to the vine than when He is pruning it.”
  • “We all ask ‘why’ questions.  They’re a natural part of being human.  But we can ask better questions–we can ask ‘what’ questions: ‘What
    Lord?  What would You have me to do?  ‘What are You trying to teach me?’”
  • “I didn’t sign up for this!  I know that I sang, ‘Wherever He leads. I’ll go’, but can’t we at least check the weather report first?  How could He lead me into a storm like this one?’ 

    Just cling to the knowledge that you could be in no safer place than a storm of His making.  You are safer and more secure in the tempest with Jesus than you could ever be in the calmest place without Him.  That calm, you’ll come to realize, is an illusion, and the storm is for a good purpose and a short duration.”
  • My crisis is important to God. He is using it to make me a more valuable servant in His kingdom.
  • The only road that leads to the destination God desires for us has sharp bends.
  • Life is difficult, but difficulty is the only path to wisdom. “
“As an old man, looking back on one’s life. it’s one of the things that strikes you most forcibly–that the only thing that’s taught one anything is suffering.  Not success, not happiness, not anything like that.  The only thing that really teaches one what life’s about–the joy of understanding, the joy of coming in contact with what life really signifies–is suffering, affliction.”
–Malcolm Muggeridge

624. “One act of thanksgiving, when things go wrong with us, is worth a thousand thanks when things are agreeable to our inclinations.” (Unknown)



Ephesians 5:20

King James Version (KJV)

 20Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ



“We see always what we are looking for, and if our mind has become trained to look for trouble and difficulty and all dark and dreary things, we find just what we seek. On the other hand, it is also possible to form the habit of looking always for beauty, for good, for reasons for thanksgiving and joy. Here too, we shall find precisely what we seek.” (JR Miller, 1840)

627. http://myfamilytalk.com/faith-in-tough-times/god-always-makes-sense-pt3.aspx  Excerpt by Dr. James Dobson in
his book When God Doesn’t Make Sense


628. “Suffering is like the little sheepdog that runs at your heels to get you to run into the loving arms of your Shepherd” –Joni Eareckson Tada

629. Isa 33:2 O Lord, be gracious to us, we long for you.  Be our strength every morning, our salvation in time of distress.

2Co 1:3  Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and the God of all comfort,

2Co 1:4  He comforts us in all our trouble, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in every trouble, through the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.


 “Blessing in the Thorn” (Verona shared with me)
631. (From Deb M’s email):
“I brought a biography of Joni Eareckson Tada to read while here…called The God I Love…some things that I wrote down may give you food for thought during the night also…”I need to be caught up in God’s thoughts about me, not my thoughts about Him.”
“Will I release myself to believe that the joy of the Lord is big enough to enrapture and enthrall me, despite my circumstances?  I may never accept my situation (her paralysis), but I CAN embrace God.  I can embrace Him as I think of His greater affliction.  And as I embrace Him I can’t but help to love His will.  I have faith not in my ability to accept this situation, but faith to embrace Christ, to trust Him BECAUSE of my problems.” 
“God permits things He hates to accomplish something He loves.”  (the latter being my growing in my need of Him)”
Who I Am In Christ
633. “He must become greater; I must become less.” John 3:30
634. Quotes from “When Life is Hard” by James MacDonald:
“A trial is a painful circumstance allowed by God to change my conduct and my character.
My conduct–that’s what I do.  And then to a deeper level, my character–that’s who I am.
Trials are about what God is adjusting in the actions I choose, and what God is doing to the character that helps me choose those actions.”
“I’m fond of the saying that ‘God’s love is not a pampering love; God’s love is a perfecting love.’  God does not say, “Here, Billy.  Have some more cupcakes.  Take the one with extra icing.’  That’s not God.  Your Grandma maybe, but not God.”
“When life is hard, stop and ask God, ‘What do you want me to do?”
5 More Heartfelt Responses Concerning God’s Will 

By Roy Lessin

 (If “for love’s sake” is the right motivation, why do something with a wrong motive?)

Lord, my heart cries out in a love response to You. I can’t think of anything higher or greater than responding to Your will for love’s sake. May Your love move me on, compel me to reach out to others, and to seek Your heart more and more.

 (If what you’re seeking is moving you away from God’s heart, why pursue it?)

Lord, I turn my back to all that would turn me away from You. I come to You, I run to You,  I press in to know You more and to lay hold of the purpose of why You laid hold of me.

 (If the outcome is not God’s best, why settle for it?)

Lord, I refuse to be content with a life that is run-of-the-mill, mediocre, or second-rate. I choose the best that love has to give—I choose You. I choose Your will. I choose Your best. I choose Your glory. I will continue in the race that You have set before me and run it with all my heart.

 (If God has told you to wait, why push forward?)

Lord, I lay down my pushiness, my desire to control and manipulate people and circumstances in order to have things turn out the way I want them to. I wait upon You who does all things well. I wait on Your time, I wait on Your way, I wait on Your outcome.

 (If God has told you to go, why hold back?)

Lord, where You send me I will go—thankfully, wholly, speedily, contentedly, peacefully, joyfully, lovingly.

 Let love be your greatest aim. 1 Corinthians 14:1 TLB




5 Heartfelt Responses Concerning God’s WillBy Roy Lessin 

 (If God isn’t leading you to a certain place, why go there?)

Lord, I am following You. I will not run around in circles trying to find my own way. I place my feet in Your footsteps. I take the place that You have prepared for me. I will faithfully remain where You have placed me until You make it clear it is time to move on.

 (If God hasn’t asked you to do a certain task, why perform it?)

Lord, I will only carry what You ask me to lift. I lay down my agenda and my ideas of what I think needs to be done. I say “no” to all stress and striving and “yes” to the peace that comes from obeying what You are asking me to do.

(If God hasn’t directed you to speak something, why declare it?)

Lord, put Your words in my mouth. I want to speak words that are fitting for the moment—the right word, the true word, the edifying word, the anointed word, the word in due season—the word from Your heart to others.

(If God wouldn’t be pleased with your choice, why choose it?)

Lord, I choose those things that will bring a smile to Your face.  My greatest pleasure is to please You.

(If “for His glory” is the right reason, why do something for the wrong reason?)

Lord, I love Your righteousness. I want to live right, think right, and act right. I want my motivation to be for Your sake, and my attitudes to be a reflection of who You are. May others want to know You more because of what they see of Your life in me.

May the name of our Lord Jesus Christ be glorified and become more glorious through and in you. 2 Thessalonians 1:12 AMP

 Isa 33:2 O Lord, be gracious to us, we long for you.  Be our strength every morning, our salvation in time of distress.


638.Riding in the Back Seat and Letting God Drive

Psa. 94:19  When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul
 Isa. 26:3-4  You will keep in him perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you.  Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord, is the Rock eternal. 

I love word pictures.  My dear husband has lovingly reminded me at different times how little children ride in the back seat of a car as their Daddy drives.  You don’t see them fretting, “Hey, watch out for that car over there, Dad”, “You missed our turn, are  you sure you know where you are going?”,   “Woa, slow down there, Dad–you are going way too fast!”, etc.  Nope, you usually see them in the rear view mirror, happily occupying themselves with toys and books, interacting with siblings, singing song, and falling asleep.  They leave all the driving to Daddy.  I gotta stay in that back seat, stop telling God how to drive, resist inclinations to unbuckle my seat belt and jump up to the driver’s seat and yank the wheel from Him when we take the twisty turns, and instead, just rest peacefully, going along for the “ride” God is taking me on.  God has an “Eternal Record” of being an expert driver and I can leave all the driving to Him, just like a child.  :)  


In His Will

“First, He brought me here; it is by His will I am in this strait place; in that fact I will rest.


Next, He will keep me here in His love, and give me grace to behave as His child.


Then, He will make the trial a blessing, teaching me the lessons He intends me to learn, and working in me the grace He means to bestow.


Last, in His good time, He can bring me out again—how and when He knows.

I am here—FOR HIS TIME”

-Andrew Murray

Psalm 31:14-15a
 14 But as for me, I trust in You, O LORD;
         I say, “You are my God.”
 15 My times are in Your hand….”



Psalm 27:13-14
 13 I would have lost heart, unless I had believed
         That I would see the goodness of the LORD
         In the land of the living.
 14 Wait on the LORD;
         Be of good courage,
         And He shall strengthen your heart;
         Wait, I say, on the LORD!



Revelation 21:4

He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.

642. “Jesus will meet you there”
(Written and sung by Steven Curtis Chapman after the death of his young daughter)
643. “Our God is in Control”
Steven Curtis Chapman
644. Psalm 30:11-12
 11 You have turned for me my mourning into dancing;
         You have put off my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness,
 12 To the end that my glory may sing praise to You and not be silent.
         O LORD my God, I will give thanks to You forever
645. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dD-ZdMOx_HY  Jesus, Lover Of My Soul (It’s All About You)


646. Psalm 62:8
 8 O my people, trust in him at all times.
      Pour out your heart to him,
      for God is our refuge.

Personalizing for me:
I will trust You at all times, Father… ALL TIMES.
I will keep my eyes on YOU, not on my circumstances or emotions.
I pour my whole heart out to you. I am not my own: I belong to You and I am so very glad that this is true.
You indeed are my refuge. I run to You for safety, for comfort, for Your loving Arms to hold me close, just to be with You. I cling to You and Your Word.  I will choose to stand on Your promises that never fail.  It is a settled matter: Your ways are perfect always.  Your way, not mine. 
647. Psalm 56:8
You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle.You have recorded each one in your book.

Personalizing it for me:

Lord, not one of my sorrows or joys pass by without Your notice.  You do see and care about all I am going through and all of my hope is in You.  You’ve collected all my tears in a bottle and written down all my sorrows in a book. I don’t understand all this tough stuff that is going on in my life really, and I guess I wont fully understand and don’t have to, but somehow it must be Your best plan to allow all this–for your glory and honor and my good and that of others too.  You have my full attention, Lord.  What do you want to teach me?  I am listening with my ears wide open and want You to mold and change me in all the ways You want to as You conform me in the image of Your Son.  Please help me to get every last thing out of these life lessons you are personally orchestrating, none of them wasted.  Not one. If it is possible, I’d like to “get it” as in all You want to teach me as quickly as possible without any stubborn hardness of heart or foolish wasting the precious time You give me.   I’d just as soon not  extend and repeat lessons unnecessarily-what a waste that would be.  I want to be soft and pliable in Your hands.   You have numbered my days and Heaven sure sounds extra good to me in so many ways right now. I do not want to cling to this old earth and this life but I do want You to show me how to fit in Your plans, bringing You honor, thanks, praise, and great pleasure every remaining day You have me here.  I want to live fully, like I am alive in You because of who I already am IN CHRIST and all I already possess IN CHRIST.  Teach me how to live my life in such a way that it is a sweet and lovely aroma to You. pleasing to You in every way–woa, I’m such a long ways from that goal.   I’ve still got lots and lots of  stinky ole’ “junk and garbage and stuff” left in my life I want you to pluck out and it looks like You’ve got a good hold and are using cancer to  tug on some twisted roots on these “weeds” in my life. Thank You for the cancer and the treatment, Lord.  I hate it but I thank You by faith.

648. Isaiah 55:8-9
 8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
   neither are your ways my ways,”
            declares the LORD.
9 “As the heavens are higher than the earth,
   so are my ways higher than your ways
   and my thoughts than your thoughts.

649. Romans 8:38-39

 38 And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[a] neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. 39 No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.



Excerpts taken from “I Arise Today”

I arise today
Through God’s strength to pilot me:
God’s might to uphold me,
God’s wisdom to guide me,
God’s eye to look before me,
God’s ear to hear me,
God’s Word to speak for me,
God’s hand to guard me,
God’s way to lie before me,
God’s shield to protect me,

Christ with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me,
Christ in me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ on my right, Christ on my left,
Christ when I lie down, Christ when I sit down, Christ when I arise.


651. It is Well With my Soul


652. “Child of My love, lean hard and let Me feel the pressure of thy care; I know thy burden, Paula, I shaped it; poised in My own hand, made no proportion in its weight to thine unaided strength; for even as I laid it on, I said, I shall be near, and while she leans on Me, this burden shall be Mine, not hers; So shall I keep thee within the circling arms of My own love. Here lay it down, nor fear to impose it on a shoulder which upholds the government of worlds. Yet closer come; you are not near enough; I would embrace your care so I might feel My child reposing on My breast. Thou lovest me? I knew it. Doubt not then; but, loving Me, Lean hard.” (Nancy H sharing prayer that was meaningful to her through trial)

653. “When God permits His children to go through the furnace, He keeps His eye on the clock and His hand on the thermostat.  His loving heart knows how much and how long.”

–Warren Wiersbe

1 Peter 1:6-7A

New Living Translation (NLT)

 6 So be truly glad.[a] There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while. 7 These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold….

654. “This Thing is From Me.”


“Life’s disappointments are veiled love’s appointments.

My child, I have a message for you today; let me whisper it in your ear, that it may gild with glory any storm clouds that arise.

It is short – only five words, but let them sink into your inmost soul, use them as a pillow on which to rest your weary head:


Have you ever thought that all that concerns you, concerns Me too? For “he that toucheth you, toucheth the apple of Mine eye” (Zechariah 2:8).

I would have you learn when temptations assail you, and the “enemy comes in like a flood,” that this thing is from Me, that your weakness needs My might, and your safety lies in letting Me fight for you.

Are you in difficult circumstances? This thing is from Me. I am the God of circumstances. Your surroundings and companions are only working out My will.

Are you in money difficulties? Is it hard to make both ends meet? This thing is from Me, for I am your purse bearer, and I would have you draw from and depend upon Me. My supplies are limitless (see Philippians 4:19). I would have you prove My promises.

Are you passing through a night of sorrow? This thing is from Me. I am “The Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.” I have let earthly comforters fail you so that by turning to Me you may obtain everlasting consolation (see II Thessalonians 2:16, 17).

Has some friend disappointed you? One to whom you opened your heart? This thing is from Me. I have allowed this disappointment to come so that you may learn that I am your best friend.

Have your plans been all upset? Are you bowed down and weary? This thing is from Me. You made your plans, then came asking Me to bless them, but I would have you let Me plan for you and then I take the responsibility, for “this thing is too heavy for thee; thou art not able to perform it thyself alone” (Exodus 18:18). You are only an instrument.

Have you longed to do some great work for Me, and instead been laid aside on a bed of pain and weakness? This thing is from Me. I could not get your attention in your busy days, and I want to teach you some of My deepest lessons. “They also serve who only stand and wait.”

Some of My greatest workers are those shut out from active service, that they may learn to wield the weapon of all-prayer.

Are you suddenly called to occupy a difficult and responsible position? Launch out on Me. I am trusting you with the “possession of difficulties,” and for “this thing the Lord thy God shall bless thee in all thy works, and in all that thou puttest thine hand unto” (Deuteronomy 15:10).

This day I place in your hand this pot of holy oil; make use of it freely, My child. Remember, “interruptions are divine instructions.” The sting will go as you learn to see Me in all things; therefore, “set your hearts unto all the words which I testify among you this day … for it is not a vain thing for you; because it is your life: and through this thing ye shall prolong your days in the land” (Deuteronomy 32:46, 47).”

–Laura A. Barton Snow


“If we had the least notion of God’s lovingkindness and tender mercy,
His fatherly care for His poor children, His generousity, His beautiful
plans for us; if we knew how patiently He waits for our turning to Him,
how gently He means to lead us to green pastures and still waters, how
carefully He is preparing a place for us, how ceaselessly He is ordering
and ordaining and engineering His Master Plan for our good-if we had any
inkling of all this, could we be reluctant to let go of our smashed
dandelions or whatever we clutch so fiercely in our sweaty little hands?…
If with courage and joy we pour ourselves out for Him and for others for
His sake, it is not possible to lose, in any final sense, anything
worth keeping.  We will lose ourselves and our selfishness.  We will
gain everything worth having.”

–Ekizabeth Elliot



"I am strong for all things in the One Who continually infuses strength in me" Phil 4:13
"At ALL times and in ALL circumstances, Christ is able and willing to provide the strength
 we need to be content. Contentment occurs when Christ's strength is infused into my weak body,soul,
and spirit. To INFUSE means to pour, fill, soak, or extract. Every morning when I dip my tea bag
into boiling water, I witness infusion. How does God enable us to be content? He INFUSES
contentment into us through his Word. As it seeps into our minds, it transforms us. Just as a cup
 of tea gets stronger when we give it time to to steep, we become more content when we spend time
 in God's word and allow it to seep into our lives, transforming us to be like Him." From "Calm
 my anxious heart" by Linda Dillow --------------------------
"According to Ephesians 2:10, you and I "are God's workmanship,

created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in
advance for us to do.” When I am not pleased with the talents,
gifts, and abilities God gave me, I remind myself that He is the
Blessed Controller of all things (1 Timothy 6:15)If I believe this, I also must believe that God

 is the Blessed Controller of my "all things". My appearance. My personality. My gifts and talents.
In my heart of hearts I long to please God, and it pleases Him when I am content with how
 He created me. Perhaps you, too want to be content, yet you hear the voices that say,
"Be successful. Be popular. Be beautiful. Be perfect." Oh, my dear friend, stop listening
to the voices. Listen to God's voice: Is not He your Father, your Creator, who made you
 and formed you? Deut 32:6 Your hands shaped me and made me...Remember that you molded
 me like clay...Did you not...clothe me with skin and flesh and knit me together with bones and
 sinews? Job 10:8-11" By Linda Dillow in "Calm my anxious heart"
"The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.
Attitude, to me, is more important than facts.   It is more important than
the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures,
than successes, than what other people think or say  or do.  It is more
important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.  It will make or break a
company...a church...a home.  The remarkable thing is we have a choice every
day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.  We cannot change
our past...we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way.
We cannot change the inevitable.  The only thing we can do is play on the
one string we have, and that is our attitude...I am convinced that life is
10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.   And so it is with
you...we are in charge of our attitudes."--Charles Swindoll
Blessings: By Laura Story

“We pray for blessings, we pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering

All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops?
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near?

What if trials of this life
Are Your mercies in disguise?

We pray for wisdom, Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough

And all the while You hear each desperate plea
And long that we’d have faith to believe

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears?
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near?

And what if trials of this life
Are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us, when darkness seems to win
We know the pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home
It’s not our home

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears?
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near?

What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst
This world can’t satisfy?

And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise?”




(“Leaning on the Everlasting Arms”: Hymn and History)


Joni’s example to me is a gift from God
662. From the American Cancer Society website: Cancer is so limited…
It cannot cripple love.
It cannot shatter hope.
It cannot corrode faith.
It cannot eat away peace.
It cannot destroy confidence.
It cannot kill friendship.
It cannot shut out memories.
It cannot silence courage.
It cannot reduce eternal life.
It cannot quench the Spirit.


663. My additions:

Some more “CANT’S” of Cancer:
-It can’t rob us of making the most of every day: even the hard days after chemo can have splashes of joy in them.

-Cancer is very weak compared to the love we share with family and friends.

–Even though cancer is a nightmare, it CAN’T take away all my hopes and dreams for the future

–Even though the treatment of cancer has taken away my hair and that’s been hard for me, it CAN NOT take away a genuine smile

on my face because God is always up to something good in my life

–It CAN’T MAKE ME have a “victim’s mentality”: I CAN grow to be a stronger and more compassionate person through this

(and grow in many other ways)

Cancer CAN’T take away the song in my heart and on my lips that praises God for His goodness, faithfulness, and love.

Cancer can’t take away my sense of humor UNLESS I let it. I will not let it rob me of laughter.

Cancer is a very ugly thing but it can’t take away all the beautiful things that we CAN still enjoy.

I really love working in my lttle garden but was too sick to clear out the jungle it had become, plant it, weed it, water it,

or pick from it most of the time this year. My sister and daughters did it for me.

I’ve been enjoying the veggies and lovely flowers and the ability I have right now to help care for this cheery, bright spot

of beauty and have a new sesnse of gratefulness and appreciation. There were so many big and small blessings I took for

granted before cancer….

Cancer can’t make me a grouchy grump even if I am feeling very sick and miserable. The choice to have a good attitude,

a sweet spirit, and to rise above my circumstances is mine.


Sadonna said:
“Cancer can not take even ONE day from me that God intends for me to have!”



664. “Suffering nourishes grace, and pain and joy are of the same heart — and mourning and dancing are but movements
in His unfinished symphony of beauty of beauty.” (Voskamp)


The Weaving



Thin Lines


Lord, every single gift comes from You…“Lift my gaze to see life from Your perspective. Help me to understand-and treasure-every good thing You send…”(From James 1:7)   One Thousand Gifts   http://www.aholyexperience.com/
505. The bone-tired fatigue of the cancer treatment is only temporary
506. Christmas fun
507.  The Weaving(Unknown author)My Live has been a weaving between my God and Me,

The colors that He weaveth, He worketh steadily.

Oft times He weveth sorrow and I in foolish pride

Forget He sees the upper and I the underside.

Not till the loom is silent

And shuttles cease to fly

Will God unroll the canvas

And explain the reasons WHY

The dark threads are as needful

In the skillful weavers hand

As the Threads of Gold and Silver

In the Pattern He has Planned.


I am continuing to go through my journaling that I did this year and am pulling out gifts He had for me to recount on my gratefulness list as I reflect back over 2111:
607. I can well remember  the joy, my deep contentment,  and the sheer delight I felt many years ago looking into beautiful blue eyes gazing up at me when I got to nurse my sweet baby girls.  The Lord blessed me with an abundant milk supply and I loved to watch my little ones being nourished and nurtured at my breasts, milk overflowing from their lips and dribbling down their chubby, lovely faces and round bodies. It’s sort of a picture to me of God’s lavish love: good measure, pressed down, and overflowing. I am so grateful that I got to have that privilege and those memories from that season of my life. Thank You Father, for that gift.

608.This year I have often thought of the title of one of Barbara Johnson’s books because it applies to me: “Pain is inevitable but misery is optional: so stick a geranium in your hat and be happy”. Aint that the truth?!   So much of life boils down to choice.   🙂 Job  said, “The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away.  Blessed be the Name of the Lord”.  Amen to that.   I will choose to praise and trust my great God Who never makes one single mistake.  He has arranged and orchestrated every detail.
609. “Some things are so important to God that they are worth interrupting the happiness and health of His children in order to accomplish them.”
610. “Ask the Saviour to help you, comfort, strengthen and keep you, He is able to save you, He will carry you through. (Children’s song in the UK that Rosemary shared with me before my mastectomy)
611.These are some Scriptures and thoughts that have been a special blessing to me the first few months of last year after being diagnosed with breast cancer. I printed them out and tacked up on the back of my front door to remind myself of what I want to be thinking about:  Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9 9

God’s timing is always on time.
Be still and know that I am God
Psalm 46:10A

Proverbs 3:5-6  


Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.  In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.


Psalm 27:14  


Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.


Psalm 34:4  


 4 I sought the LORD, and he answered me;
   he delivered me from all my fears.


   Job 23:10
10 But he knows the way that I take;
   when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold.

26 In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.
 28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a] have been called according to his purpose.
Romans 8:26, 28

Isaiah 40:28-31 
28 Do you not know?
   Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
   the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
   and his understanding no one can fathom.
29 He gives strength to the weary
   and increases the power of the weak.
30 Even youths grow tired and weary,
   and young men stumble and fall;
31 but those who hope in the LORD
   will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
   they will run and not grow weary,
   they will walk and not be faint.


Psalm 91

 1 Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
   will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.[a]
2 I will say of the LORD, “He is my refuge and my fortress,
   my God, in whom I trust.” 3 Surely he will save you
   from the fowler’s snare
   and from the deadly pestilence.
4 He will cover you with his feathers,
   and under his wings you will find refuge;
   his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.

Psalm 23

 1 The Lord is my shepherd;
      I have everything that I need.
 2 He lets me rest in green meadows;
      he leads me beside peaceful streams.
    3 He renews my strength.
   He guides me along right paths,
      bringing honor to his name.
 4 Even when I walk

      through the dark valley of death,[a]
   I will not be afraid,
      for you are close beside me.
   Your rod and your staff
      protect and comfort me.
 5 You prepare a feast for me
      in the presence of my enemies.  
   You welcome me as a guest, anointing my head with oil.
      My cup overflows with blessings.
 6 Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me
      all the days of my life,
   and I will live in the house of the Lord

He is God and I am not.

This battle is the Lord’s.

“Prayers are instantly noticed in heaven. Wherever there’s a heart big with sorrow.  Or a lip quivering with agony.  Or a deep groan of sadness, the heart of God is open.” (Charles Spurgeon)





1 Corinthians 16:13


13 Watch, stand fast in the faith, be brave, be strong.  14 Let all that you do be done with love.



1. God is always good!…always!
A. He will always meet my genuine needs…always!
B. He will always forgive my sin…always!
C. He is always up to something good in my life…always!
D. He will always love me personally…always!
E. He will always give me the grace I need…always!
2.God is always great…always!
A. He is always in control of all things…always!
B. He is always present with me…always!
C. He is always the same…always!
D. He is always trustworthy…always!
E. He is always wise in what He does…always!



“God is who He says He is.


He can and will do what He says He will do.


I am who God says I am.


God’s Word is alive and active in me.


I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.  Philippians 4:13





612. Nita praying Psalm 140:7 for us on the day of my mastectomy: “(Sovereign LORD, my strong deliverer,
You shield my head in the day of battle. ) Lord, protect John and Paula’s minds and thinking as they go through this battle. Be their shield, help them remember what is true, help them keep their minds and thoughts steadfast on You. Strengthen Paula for this battle.”

613. Deb setting up the Lotsa Helping Hands site for us, Nita coordinating and training folks at NTM to help.  Thsi year so many people were the hands and feet and mouth  of Jesus to us: juicing, produce washing, coffee brewing for coffee enemas when I was doing Gerson Therapy, providing meals, cleaning, laundry, baked goods, groceries, encouraging cards & emails, including the children with fun activities, etc .  We are so rich in family and firends!  Thank You Lord for these precious ones who have ministered to us!

614. My Christian sisters at Healthy Living 4 Him


Let us therefore approach the throne of grace with boldness, so that
we may receive mercy and find grace to help in our time of need.
Hebrews 4 :16

Because of Christ, I can come to His throne of grace with boldness, I
am His child.  He has mercy and grace to help me in my times of need.


Winston Churchill said:
“Never give in.  Never give in. Never, never, never, never-in nothing great or small, large or petty-never give in, except to convictions of honour and good sense.  Never yield to force.  Never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy”
Let us therefore approach the throne of grace with boldness, so that
we may receive mercy and find grace to help in our time of need.
Hebrews 4 :16

Because of Christ, I can come to His throne of grace with boldness, I
am His child.  He has mercy and grace to help me in my times of need.

I have a lot of needs and He has all the answers.
Note from me on 10/29/12: oops 615/617 the same…like the sign I have in my living room: “Count your blessings. Recounts OK.” HA!  Then looks like I had a major chemo brain mis-count back then leaping from #507 to #607 in one line–ah well, not going to worry about fixing my count.  🙂



2/3rds Done With Radiation PTL

A single guy decided life would be more fun if he had a pet.

So he
went to the pet store
and told the owner
that he wanted to buy an unusual pet.

After some discussion, 
he finally bought a talking centipede,
came in a little white box

to use as his house.

He took the box back home, 
found a good spot for the box,
and decided he would start off
by taking his new pet
to church with him.

So he
asked the centipede in the box, 
you like to go

to church with me today?
We will have a good time.”

But there was no answer 
from his new pet.

bothered him a bit,
but he waited a few minutes
and then asked again, 
“How about
church with me

and receive blessings?”

But again,
there was no answer
his new friend and pet.
So he waited
a few minutes more,
thinking about the situation..

The guy decided to
invite the centipede

one last time.

This time he
put his face up against

the centipede’s house and shouted, “Hey, in there!
Would you like to go
to church with me
and learn about God?”

This time, a little voice 
came out of the box,
“I heard you the first time!!!
I’m putting my shoes on!”

My friend Beth found http://www.homemakerscorner.com/appoint.htm which includes the entire “Disappointment, His Appointment” poem that I shared yesterday. The version that I had seen on the internet omitted a verse and this link includes it, thankfully along with the author’s name.  It is in an attractive form which would be nice to print.  I’ve updated yesterday’s post on the website to reflect that.  Thanks so much, Beth.  I always appreciate it when people share good things I can pass along here too. 🙂 Thanks to all who have done that!
Lord, every single gift comes from You…“Lift my gaze to see life from Your perspective. Help me to understand-and treasure-every good thing You send…”(From James 1:7)   One Thousand Gifts   http://www.aholyexperience.com/
503. Yesterday marked my “2/3rds done with radiation, just 1/3rd to go milestone”.  As of 12/8/11  I’ve completed 20 treatments: 10 more to go.  Wahoooooooooo for progress!  Yipeeeeeee for God giving me grace and strength in this battle against cancer.  Hooray that God can make a mastectomy, chemo, and radiation effective if that’s His best choice for me.  God can do ANYTHING.  God can do EVERYTHING.  NOTHING is too hard for Him… ABSOLUTELY nothing.  IN CHRIST I am a victorious overcomer.
504. Thank You Lord that there are no signs of cancer in my remaining right breast on the one-sided mammogram I had yesterday.  I sure do appreciate that. Thank You Lord for a healthy right breast.  Thank You Lord that I can completely give You the loss of my left breast along with those 11 lymph nodes and the disrupted nerves. Every cell in my body is YOURS. 
I am pulling out some of the quotes and “nuggets” God gave me during my jounalling my journey in 2011 and am counting them now in my 1000 Gifts gratefulness list as I reflect over God’s goodness to me this year.
How I need God’s grace and help! 
Will I walk by faith or by sight through this?  I choose faith.
Will I walk in the Spirit or in the flesh?  I choose to walk in the Spirit. 
Will I trust in the Lord and not lean on my own understanding, even when so many things appear out of control and so awful?  Yes, I will choose to trust Him.  HE IS IN CONTROL.


Ephesians 3:20

20 Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us  (NKJV)

20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us (NIV)

20Now to Him Who, by (in consequence of) the [action of His] power that is at work within us, is able to [carry out His purpose and] do superabundantly, far over and above all that we [dare] ask or think [infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, hopes, or dreams]– (Amplified)

20 Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. (NLT)

20-21God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us. (The Message)

20 To him who by means of his power working in us is able to do so much more than we can ever ask for, or even think of: (Good News)


1. “Wars are fought strategically. one battle at a time.
2 . Wars are fought on more than one front.
3. We must expect setbacks and defeats along the way.
4. When we lose a battle, we must get back on track immediately, so we don’t lose the war.
5. We will not win if we refuse to fight.”
——Carole Lewis
My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in
weakness.  So, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so
that the power of Christ may dwell in me…for whenever I am weak,
then I am strong.  2 Cor 12: 9-10 


And my God will fully satisfy every need of yours according to His
riches in glory in Christ Jesus.  Phil 4:19



Personalizing Psalm 100

Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth, worship the Lord with
gladness; come before Him with joyful song.

I CHOOSE to worship my Lord with gladness and joyfulness.  It is a
choice that does not depend on my circumstances or emotions.  He is
worthy of my thankful heart because of WHO HE IS. He can a put a song
in my heart even when I don’t feel like singing, when I just feel like
crying.  He can help me to sing in worship to Him. 

Know that the LORD is God, it is He who made us, and we are HIS; we
are his people, the sheep of His pasture.

He is our Creator.  He owns us.  He is God and I am not.  He can use
His sheep’s lives however He chooses.  It is His right.  I am not my
own.  My husband and my children are His, they belong to Him.
Everybody and everything is His.  My Shepherd is loving and kind and
good.  Always.  He knows what’s best for His sheep even when that
means heartache for a season that we might grow more dependent on Him.

Enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise; give
thanks to Him and praise His name.

I do thank You and praise You, my Savior.

For the LORD is good and His love endures forever.

What comfort to know that this is His character, this is His heart.
His love and care are beyond measure and they last forever.

His faithfulness continues through all generations.

This is the truth.  My God is utterly, absolutely faithful.  His ways
and plans, and timing are different than mine and they are perfect.
It is my choice to rest in Him and trust Him and to be fully
surrendered to Him.  He understands this weak old heart that sometimes
trembles in fear and in doubt.  Sometimes I have to confess that I am
worried and much afraid and heavy hearted over and over and He
forgives my sin of worry, He understands my anxious nature, and takes
me unto His lap to snuggle there for loving and rest.  He hears my cry
for help and comfort.  He answers even though my human heart does not
always hear or understand what He is saying.  His answer is not always
“yes” to my prayers.  Sometimes He seems even silent.  Sometimes it is
a loving “no” or “wait on the Lord, be of good courage, My child”.
What a wonderful, marvelous God we serve!  I can trust Him completely.

I thank You and praise You , my God.  I yield my life to You for You
to do with as You see fit.  I cry out to You like my children cry out
to me when they are hurting or afraid, or in some need and want me to
pick them up and hold them close.  I hand you my fears and doubts and
every single one of my failures and sins.  I agree with you about my
sin, all the many places/ways I am wrong. I confess it and acknowledge
all those things including the ones I know about and those I am
oblivious to that are not pleasing to You.  I am sorry, I turn from my
sin and turn to You.  I choose to allow You to do all You want to do
in my heart.
512. I will sing to the Lord all of my life; I will sing praise to my God
as long as I live.  May my meditation be pleasing to Him as I rejoice
in the Lord.  Psalm 104:33,34
513. To You I call, O my Rock; do not turn a deaf ear to me.  For if You
remain silent, I will be like those who have gone down to the pit.
Hear my cry for mercy as I call to You for help, as I lift up my hands
toward Your most holy place. Psalm 28 1,2

514.Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.
Psalm 27:14

515. Show me Your ways O Lord, teach me Your paths; guide me in Your truth
and teach me for You are God my Savior, and my hope is in You all day
long. Psalm 25:4,5

516. I waited patiently for the Lord; He turned to me and heard my cry.  He
lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; He set my
feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.  He put a new song
in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God.  Many will see and fear and
put their trust in the Lord. Psalm 40:1-3

517. But as for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and
more.  My mouth will tell of Your righteousness, of Your salvation all
day long, though I know not it’s measure.  I will come and proclaim
Your mighty acts, O Sovereign Lord; I will proclaim Your
righteousness, Yours alone  Psalm 71: 14-16






“Piper observed, “The common feature of the
faith that escapes suffering and the faith that endures suffering is
this: both of them involve believing that God Himself is better than
what life can give to you now, and better than what death can take
from you later.” All to say, no matter what comes our way in this
life, God wants to be our TREASURE. 


“Faith is utterly in love with all that God will be for us beyond the
grave. Faith loves God more than life. Faith loves God more than
family. Faith loves God more than job or retirement plans or ministry
or writing books or building the dream house or making the first
million. Faith says, “Whether God handles me tenderly or gives me
over to torture, I love him. He is my reward (Heb 11:6), the builder
of the city I long for (11:10), the treasure beyond the riches of Egypt
(11:26), and the possession that surpasses all others and abides for
ever (10:34).” –Piper

520. Matthew 11:28-30 28 Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”


521. 2 Corinthians 4:7-5:10 (New Living Translation)

 7 We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure.[a] This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves.

 8 We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. 9 We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed. 10 Through suffering, our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies.

 11 Yes, we live under constant danger of death because we serve Jesus, so that the life of Jesus will be evident in our dying bodies. 12 So we live in the face of death, but this has resulted in eternal life for you.

 13 But we continue to preach because we have the same kind of faith the psalmist had when he said, “I believed in God, so I spoke.”[b] 14 We know that God, who raised the Lord Jesus,[c] will also raise us with Jesus and present us to himself together with you. 15 All of this is for your benefit. And as God’s grace reaches more and more people, there will be great thanksgiving, and God will receive more and more glory.

 16 That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are[d] being renewed every day. 17 For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! 18 So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.

522. 2 Corinthians 5

New Bodies

 1 For we know that when this earthly tent we live in is taken down (that is, when we die and leave this earthly body), we will have a house in heaven, an eternal body made for us by God himself and not by human hands. 2 We grow weary in our present bodies, and we long to put on our heavenly bodies like new clothing. 3 For we will put on heavenly bodies; we will not be spirits without bodies.[e] 4 While we live in these earthly bodies, we groan and sigh, but it’s not that we want to die and get rid of these bodies that clothe us. Rather, we want to put on our new bodies so that these dying bodies will be swallowed up by life. 5 God himself has prepared us for this, and as a guarantee he has given us his Holy Spirit. 6 So we are always confident, even though we know that as long as we live in these bodies we are not at home with the Lord. 7 For we live by believing and not by seeing. 8 Yes, we are fully confident, and we would rather be away from these earthly bodies, for then we will be at home with the Lord. 9 So whether we are here in this body or away from this body, our goal is to please him. 10 For we must all stand before Christ to be judged. We will each receive whatever we deserve for the good or evil we have done in this earthly body.

523. 2 Corinthians 12:8-10  


 8 Three different times I begged the Lord to take it (my thorn in the flesh) away. 9 Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. 10 That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.


524. You are Holy (Prince of Peace)
525. Thanks in advance, Father that I’ll get a brand new body in Heaven and it’ll be much better than this one at it’s prime.  I will be trading the temporary for the eternal on the day I meet Him face to face.
526. Esther D. abundantly blessing me with fresh juice from carrots and greens.  What a loving provision!