I saw my dentist yesterday (chemo and radiation can be rough on teeth) and I told him about the Bill Cosby dentist comedy I saw recently. He referred me to one of his favorites: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PYzuchDBvCs Have you seen it? Check it out: funny stuff!
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Three Blondes were all applying for the last available position on the Texas Highway Patrol. The detective conducting the interview looked at the three of them and said, ‘So y’all want to be cops, huh?’ The blondes all nodded.
The detective got up, opened a file drawer and pulled out a folder. Sitting back down, he opened it and pulled out a picture, and said, ‘To be a detective, you have to be able to detect. You must be able to notice things such as distinguishing features and oddities such as scars and so forth.’ So saying, he stuck the photo in the face of the first blonde and withdrew it after about two seconds. ‘Now,’ he said, ‘did you notice any distinguishing features about this man?’
The blonde immediately said, ‘Yes, I did. He has only one eye!’ The detective shook his head and said, ‘Of course he has only one eye in this picture! It’s a profile of his face! You’re dismissed!’ The first blonde hung her head and walked out of the office.
The detective then turned to the second blonde, said, ‘What about you? Notice anything unusual or outstanding about this man?’ ‘Yes! He only has one ear!’ The detective put his head in his hands and exclaimed, ‘Didn’t you hear what I just told the other lady? This is a profile of the man’s face! Of course you can only see one ear!! You’re excused too!’ The second blonde sheepishly walked out of the office.
The detective turned his attention to the third and last blonde and said, ‘This is probably a waste of time, but … He flashed the photo in her face for a couple of seconds and withdrew it, saying, ‘All right, did you notice anything distinguishing or unusual about this man?’ The blonde said, ‘I sure did… This man wears contact lenses.’ The detective frowned, took another look at the picture and began looking at some of the papers in the folder. He looked up at the blonde with a puzzled expression and said, ‘You’re absolutely right! His bio says he wears contacts! How in the world could you tell that by looking at his picture?’
The blonde rolled her eyes and said, ‘Well, Helloooo! With only one eye and one ear, he certainly can’t wear glasses!’
21 For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. (NIV)
21For me to live is Christ [His life in me], and to die is gain [the gain of the glory of eternity]. (AMP)
For living to me means simply “Christ”, and if I die I should merely gain more of him. (JB Philips)
Alive, I’m Christ’s messenger; dead, I’m his bounty. Life versus even more life! I can’t lose. (The Message)
For to me, living means living for Christ, and dying is even better. (NLT)
“Jesus is the way. He is not only the Way to God, but He is the Way into all that God has for us. He is the Way into our devotions, to our Bible reading, to our prayer life, to our ministry, and to all that we do for Him. In reality, we do not do our work for Him, but He does His work through us. With Jesus in the center of our being, we are no longer victims of our expectations, circumstances, and the things we can’t control. We discover that it’s okay if people don’t meet our expectations, because Jesus is our expectation. Schedules may be good, but they don’t produce life within us because Jesus is our life” –Don Lessin
Lord, every single good gift comes from You…