Your bones and joints think they’re twice as old as you are.
You know what colace, miralax, senna, and immodium are,when to take each one, and you never leave home without them.
When your living room sofa has a permanent indentation in it which looks strangely like your rear end
When your pedometer says you took 108 steps today.
When you are checking in the mirror about how long your hair is at least once a day.when you walk and talk like your grandmothers’ grandmother.
your total lack of fear makes new car salespersons sweat.
When you are happy because somebody tells you that you don’t look so yellow and pale anymore.
When you’re using the lint roller on your head to get out the stubbies!
When you miss your breasts…
People keep telling you how good you look, and you wonder, “If I look so good in a wig and have no eyelashes and no eyebrows, how bad did I look before I had cancer?”
When the lint roller isn’t working so well on your head anymore so you start using duct tape to get those “prickles” out.
When you start to consider buying a bigger microwave just because you cannot fit another prescription bottle on top of the one you have.
When people say and “howwwwww are youuuu really” (dragging it out with that low voice).
How about when your teenager tries to signal you from across the room to “adjust” your prosthesis (“Mom….you have one creeping to the middle!”) He ended up texting me!
When you finally get brave enough to ditch your wig and wear a baseball cap instead and a store employee (young man) calls you SIR!
When your 2 year old granddaughter pulls off your wig because she wants to put it on and dance in front of the mirror.
When you feel like a newborn: hairless and ready for a nap at any time.
When all your female acquaintances – family, friends & co-workers – tell you when they book mammograms
When you are either freezing cold, from low blood counts, or scorching hot, from hot flashes- never quite just the right temp!
Everyone wants to give you lessons on ‘attitude’ because that is the real cure for cancer.
When your 80 year old mother calls YOU for advice on dealing with constipation.
When you discover, thru chemo baldness, that you inherited the shape of your father’s head.
When the neighbor comes over to check on you because he saw a strange man in the back yard only to find out it was you that he saw.
You know you’re a breast cancer patient when…you agree to a treatment plan that’s designed to turn you into an overweight, cranky, red faced, bald guy with hot flashes.”
Do any of you folks have any jokes or thing humorous/inspiring you can send me here or privately by email? I want to and I need to laugh and be inspired. How about sharing some encouraging Bible verses you love for me to hang my hat on? There are many times I feel the pull of depressed thinking, despair, or just feel like crying and crying. There’s certainly a plentiful supply of things that can get a person with aggressive cancer down or complain about. God has much better for me than walking in the flesh and I want to steer clear of all pits and make God-honoring choices instead. Truthfully, I can really use all prayers and lots of encouragement and gestures of cheerin’ uppin’ these days . 🙂 Who was that guy in the Old Testament who needed people to hold up his arms so their side could keep winning in the battle and his arms were growing weak and heavy? I forget the details of the story but my cancer battle wears me out sometimes and I gotta keep giving it back to the Lord over and over and over. Thanks to all of you who help “hold up my arms” and are His Hands and Feet a mouthpiece of His in my life. I am grateful to you. 🙂
Lord, every single good gift comes from You…
290. A tickled funny bone
291.. Ruth’s massages….ahhhh!
292.. Faith the size of a mustard seed that moves mountains. Please teach me more about that kind of faith and more about being a woman of prayer, Lord.